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Despair Is The Price

“Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim”. — Graham Greene

Wow. Then what does it mean, “If your goal isn’t impossible, you’re not reaching high enough”?

Simply this:  You can set the bar low and reach a goal, and then wonder if you could have done better, eventually living with a certain degree of regret for not trying harder.

Or, you can set the bar impossibly high, give it your absolute best, fail, yet live with the satisfaction and peace that you left nothing on the table.

There are no guarantees in life.  But you already knew that, right?

The Real Problem With Leisure?

“The real problem of your leisure is how to keep other people from using it”. — Anonymous

Ain’t it the truth? Most of it is our own fault though. It is for me anyway.

Always trying to do better.  Always trying to please others.  Never satisfied with the status quo. Over-achiever. Workaholic. Can’t say no.  The list goes on and on.

Here’s another truth, that no one wants to admit. We control our choices.  Not the outcomes, but our choices.

While the outcomes are in the hands of a power we can’t begin to imagine, our choices are not.  Our choices are ours.

You’d think we would have this figured out by mid life.  Why is this so difficult to remember?

It Begins With The Father

“It is said to begin with the Father”. — Maxine Kumin

Our models are our parents.  And for boys, this is primarily the Father. And if the Father is absent, well, the Father is still the model.

And even when the Father is present, he might still be absent.  This makes a compelling case for being a great Father.  BFO, right?

And yet, I don’t really recall when my Dad actually sat me down to teach me important stuff.

Maybe Maxine is full of misguided notions.  Maybe she’s right on target. This confuses me, scares me, and motivates me.  What about you?

Who Gives A Crap?

“He that would govern others, first should be Master of himself”. — Philip Massinger

If this is the case, then there really aren’t too many qualified leaders out there. Are there?

How hard do you work to gain mastery over yourself?  Do you even care?  Isn’t it an awful lot of work to polish things no one can immediately, if ever, see?

Then why do it?  Simply this, you will know.  And if you never get to the point where this is important to you, then you will never understand self-mastery.  If you never understand this, you will always be frustrated with people, particularly yourself.

Who gives a crap, right?  My point exactly.

Mid Life Workaholics Unite

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings”. — Ed Gardner

Workaholics rarely have courage for self-confrontation.  We’re too busy trying to control things and control life.  If we pause long enough to notice the bleeding, we might have to change who we are.

Panic attack, right?  When will we take time to:

  • Rethink
  • Reprioritize
  • Recommit

Probably never.  Am I wrong?

Or maybe when the phone rings, “Honey, it’s for you, it’s your wake up call”.