A short story about “and then I realized”
The people i want to talk to the most almost always get a call, text, or email from me first.
The people i want to talk to the most rarely (almost never) initiate a call, text, or email.
And then i realized this (a long time ago, actually).
But for some unknown reason that i still can’t explain to this day, i felt a nagging guilt about how to remedy this.
Mostly, i felt like it was my place to always be the initiator.
i didn’t like it, and i still don’t.
And then i realized there was never any written or even weirdly implied expectation for me to always go first.
Over the years (decades) i suggested to some of my family and friends that we could set up some sort of schedule to call.
But many of my family and friends never liked that idea for whatever reasons and no process was ever tried.
And by the way, trying something new is only a starting point. A point from which things can be tweaked with input from those involved. Each Family member and Friend may like something a little different.
i’m used to scheduling things because i worked in a career that required me to be organized and to plan ahead in order to get the things done that were the most important.
And then i realized i have a choice that i have never done before. What would happen if i stop calling, texting, and emailing?
And then i realized, i don’t need to feel guilty anymore.
And then i also realized, everyone is OK with this, and i was just making it a bigger deal than it really was/is.
Now I feel free.
And then i realized, i like this feeling of freedom.
If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.
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