Disney Leadership Keynote Speaker
Five daily blogs about life's 5 big choices on five interconnected sites.
Each day, it’s your choice to make. What you choose to read, watch, follow, participate in, the language you use, the comments you make, the people you hang out with.
It’s all yours.
This determines your attitude, your traveling companion through life.
Which came first, your attitude, or the list above?
Today, it’s your choice to make.
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“What do you want from life“?, was the question. “Nuthin’“, was the answer.
Mid Life Crisis is when you look at what you – need, want and have.
One person’s scenerio:
Then he says, “You don’t want a cure for your son, you want a cure for you”.
The other person’s scenerio:
Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer:
“Our opinions become fixed at the point where we stop thinking.” – Ernest Renan
Do you ever change your mind or your opinion about something once you’ve learned new or different information? Or do you form an opinion and then only listen to information that reinforces the belief you already have? When it comes to your mind, is the door shut or is it open? Do you honestly look at ALL the facts, or do you rely on someone else to provide you with information that is intended to get you to share their own view? Perhaps it’s becoming easier to allow someone else to tell us what we think than it is for us to listen to the facts and then decide for ourselves. Maybe talk radio is becoming the intellectual equivalent of getting a meal at the drive thru window. It’s fast, it’s easy and it’s cheap.
I know folks who, no matter what evidence they are presented to the contrary, will not budge from their original stance. There’s something to be said for loyalty, but there is that line between being true to your convictions and just being bullheaded.
“Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow.” ~Glen Beaman
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In her Guest Blogger post today, Lorie Sheffer shares a delightfully refreshing day dream – that manners still have a chance in our society.
What has happened to civility and manners? I’m far from being a stuffy person, but I am appalled by the total lack of basic respect we are seeing all around us. From a member of congress screaming out “You lie!” to the President during a speech, to Kanye West’s rude antics during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech, it seems that good manners have flown out the window. Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe this is what it means to hit middle age, but I longed for someone to step in and show the kids how it’s done. As the song says, I was holding out for a hero.
Which leads me to my love of Mr. Tim Gunn. Tim grabbed my attention the moment I first laid eyes on him. Who was this lanky, silver haired man with the impeccable grooming of Cary Grant and elegance of Gregory Peck? He looked and spoke as if he stepped out of another era. The more I watched the more my fascination grew. He is funny and he is honest. He has a distain for rudeness. His now famous “make it work” applies to many things in life, not just what a designer is creating in the workroom.
A few years ago I had the good fortune to meet Tim Gunn face to face. Tim was just as I had imagined him to be. He smelled of fresh laundry and sunshine. His shirt was a blinding, dazzling white. He was impeccable. He spoke to everyone in the room as though he was the one who was honored to be meeting them. The man radiated warmth and kindness. He made everyone feel at ease. He reminded me of a superhero whose special power is graciousness. I am fairly certain I actually swooned. Tim Gunn is the personification of civility in a world gone wild. Tim Gunn is a gentleman. He calls things as he sees them, but he does so in such a way as to be neither offensive nor boorish.
Recently, Tim made a public service video that is available on Youtube. It was made in response to the recent news of the suicides of gay teens after they had been mercilessly bullied. And what is bullying if not the ultimate in bad manners? Tim’s video is part of the “It gets better” message, and in it he tells of his attempted suicide as a teen struggling with his sexuality. While he may have become known as the mentor to the designers on Project Runway, Tim Gunn has become so much more. Under the guise of something as seemingly superficial as fashion, Tim has become a mentor for manners. Perhaps he is so beloved because he reminds us that kindness and gentility still exist in this crazy world. I recently read a quote by Mr. Gunn that says it all:
“Take the high road. You will never regret it. No matter how much anger and strife you feel you’re facing, no matter how badly you want to lash out, don’t do it. You’ll never regret taking the high road. There isn’t one single time that I’ve lashed out that I haven’t deeply regretted it.”
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Be kind to people, for everyone you meet is going through some sort of hell. Lorie Sheffer reminds us of this today, and she (inspires) challenges us to face our own hell head on. Take it away Lorie:
Everyone has had the experience of one of those near miss situations that make your heart race and your stomach churn. Maybe it was the time you glanced down for just a second and then looked up to see the car in front of you had stopped unexpectedly. Now imagine if you were to randomly get that same feeling, seemingly out of nowhere for no particular reason. Imagine standing in line at a grocery store, when all of a sudden your hands shake, your heart feels like it is pounding out of your chest and you feel as though you can’t breath. If a wave of terror hit you with such intensity that you were certain you were dying? What if simple things like going to a mall or eating in a restaurant caused you such distress that you were simply unable to do so? If your greatest wish was to be able to make it through your son’s graduation or your daughter’s wedding without feeling overwhelming waves or panic? What if your dream was to enjoy happy occasions and everyday, mundane life without extreme anxiety?
Nine years ago, after hiding my symptoms since as long as I have memory, I finally went for the help that I needed. I was almost immediately diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Many people who have been close to me for years seemed surprised. I had become extremely good at hiding my panic attacks. I grew up in a family where two members, one from each side, had anxiety issues. I heard the words “high strung” when these women would cancel plans at the last minute or have to leave a family gathering suddenly. I would catch the rolling eyes and see the glances that were exchanged. Already a political junkie at 13 years old, I have vivid memories of Thomas Eagleton, George McGovern’s first choice as vice presidential running mate. When Eagleton’s medical records were uncovered and it was learned that he had suffered from anxiety, depression and “nervous exhaustion”, he was immediately dropped from the ticket and replaced by Sargent Shriver. He went on to serve 15 more years in the senate, after which he continued his career as an attorney and professor until just before his death, at age 77, from heart and respiratory disease. Clearly he did not spend the remainder of his days as non-functional. The treatments he endured are antiquated by today’s standards. The example of Senator Eagleton was one that taught me to hide my pain behind an always cheerful, outgoing façade.
For anyone who is too fearful of seeking treatment, I am here to tell you, it will be one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself. You are NOT alone! We all grew up with fellow mid-lifer Donny Osmond. Donny is very open about his struggle with social anxiety and panic. He once said about his Broadway run in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, “There are times I remember before I walked on stage, where if I had a choice between walking on stage or dying, I would have chosen death.” This coming from someone who had been on stage since he was a toddler. That is how incapacitating anxiety can be. There was a time when Food Network star Paula Deen was unable to leave her own home due to her anxiety and agoraphobia. The list of famous people who have had panic and anxiety issues includes Nicolas Cage, Cher, Carrie Underwood, John Madden, David Bowie, Johnny Depp, Steve Martin, Barbra Streisand, Aretha Franklin, Oprah, Carly Simon and Sally Field.
I think the only way to remove a stigma born of ignorance is to stand up, speak out, and put a face to whatever it is that is being misunderstood. I’m not criminally insane, I just happen to have a panic disorder. I am no more responsible for my problem than someone is for his or her juvenile diabetes. It is something in our genetic makeup, and we need to learn to manage it, not apologize for it. Funny thing is, if I happen to be in a situation where I bring up my disorder, there is always at least one person who later comes up to me to say, “me too!” I don’t define myself as “Lorie Sheffer the person with GAD”, but I no longer try to hide it. After all, there are over 20 million Americans out there who are just like me.
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