Tag: approval

Continued from yesterday’s riff

Training. Teaching. Business. Uncharted territory is common. Risk taking is common. Growth is common.

Here’s an example of what i was describing yesterday about approval addiction.

Our son joins the cross country team in 10th grade and it was never about how well he ran.

It was about being part of a supportive team, developing relationships, setting goals, overcoming obstacles, persistence, recognizing progress, celebrating small victories unrelated to run times, and enjoying being a part of a loving community.

We gave consistent and positive feedback on traits like perseverance, courage, creativity, honesty, and perspective.

These are, after all, assets that last a lifetime, long after anyone remembers how fast you ran a 5k.

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Approval addiction

discomfort
No one has to believe this. And some, it’s all they believe.

What do you think when you hear “approval addiction”?

Does it mean anything to you?

Should it?

Are you a victim of it?

Are you unknowingly fueling another person’s future addiction to approval?

It is not something anyone consciously decides to do.

Becoming aware of the phenomenon a decade ago at a Montessori school presentation, i set out to .parent .differently

Fast forward from 2009 to last night.

Texted a question to our son, “Do u have 1 min for a call”.

“Yeah”.

i felt compelled to tell him how proud i am of who he has become and where he is in life.

He rarely heard me say “how proud I am of you.”

There is a belief that constant approval (“I’m proud of you for ____.”) can have children and teens seek approval.

Reminded him that i (and my wife) never wanted him to become another victim.

We focused (and continue to focus) on traits, behaviors, and values. We are always impressed with his growth with personal responsibility.

We could probably use a 0ne-minute conversation with ourselves as well.

“Hey jeff, i am proud of who you’ve become and where you are in life.”

Or…

“Hey jeff, you have taken some incredible risks in the past decade and we can see your passion, persistence, and determination paying off with a freedom to do what you want when you want. Your ability to help others think differently is putting a positive dent in our Universe.”

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This website is about our MIND. To read today’s post about our BODY, click here.

If you want to stay on this site and read more posts from this Blog, click here.

Ever felt there was never any question about the response everyone else would question?

Grat old-school rotary phone
Everyone’s hair turns grey as we age, even the people who hide it.

 

Ever felt there was never any question about the response everyone else would question?

The book has been blessed.

It was a no brainer, a slam dunk, a sure thing.

Bet everything? Bet your life?

Yes!

Why?

To kill it.

Doubt.

Questions.

Hard to explain, and this is just cathartic to write.

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