Category: Rethink

Approach and avoidance messages

Look for the chipped paint or look for the smiley face? Photo: Hotel parking garage next to Goucher College.

Read yesterday’s message in the next paragraph…

You will never reach your potential, and discover your purpose, by staying in your comfort zone.

Now, read today’s version, rewritten with an approach mindset rather than an avoidance mindset (above)…

You will always reach your potential, and discover your purpose, by getting out of your comfort zone.

Feel the difference?

In the last few weeks, it’s been nagging me that my traditional approach leads with avoidance. Casually, yet with decent intentionality, i’ve been playing around with moving to an approach mindset. My clock is ticking (so is everyone’s) and i’d like to transform in a way i never have.

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This website is about our MIND. To read today’s post about our BODY, click here.

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Approval addiction

discomfort
No one has to believe this. And some, it’s all they believe.

What do you think when you hear “approval addiction”?

Does it mean anything to you?

Should it?

Are you a victim of it?

Are you unknowingly fueling another person’s future addiction to approval?

It is not something anyone consciously decides to do.

Becoming aware of the phenomenon a decade ago at a Montessori school presentation, i set out to .parent .differently

Fast forward from 2009 to last night.

Texted a question to our son, “Do u have 1 min for a call”.

“Yeah”.

i felt compelled to tell him how proud i am of who he has become and where he is in life.

He rarely heard me say “how proud I am of you.”

There is a belief that constant approval (“I’m proud of you for ____.”) can have children and teens seek approval.

Reminded him that i (and my wife) never wanted him to become another victim.

We focused (and continue to focus) on traits, behaviors, and values. We are always impressed with his growth with personal responsibility.

We could probably use a 0ne-minute conversation with ourselves as well.

“Hey jeff, i am proud of who you’ve become and where you are in life.”

Or…

“Hey jeff, you have taken some incredible risks in the past decade and we can see your passion, persistence, and determination paying off with a freedom to do what you want when you want. Your ability to help others think differently is putting a positive dent in our Universe.”

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This website is about our MIND. To read today’s post about our BODY, click here.

If you want to stay on this site and read more posts from this Blog, click here.

How are you feeling?

Mid Life Celebration art 2008
Trying to find an image for brain/mind. The post-it note was an easy way to add the edit. Photo: 2008 as i experimented with the business i was about to launch.

How are you feeling about not having a “next” and a deadline?

Me: Not good.

Write about it.

Write like no one is reading.

Tell the truth.

You have a piece of time and you get to decorate it.

Frank Zappa

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This website is about our MIND. To read today’s post about our BODY, click here.

If you want to stay on this site and read more posts from this Blog, click here.

Two rocket-fuel type questions

home office
Every day at home starts here well before sunrise. Recently replaced the desk and made things simpler.

Two critical, rocket-fuel-type questions we should have a ready answer for:

  • What’s my next?
  • How long do i have to achieve it?

Why?

Because without purpose and a deadline, where does your passion, motivation, and plan come from?

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This website is about our MIND. To read today’s post about our BODY, click here.

If you want to stay on this site and read more posts from this Blog, click here.

Popular metrics don’t work for the majority

Baltimore Hotel on raining morning
Yesterday near sunrise.
College President
College President yesterday welcoming 120 prospective students (and 12 incoming freshman) and roughly 150 parents.

Reminded our Son yesterday that his early decision and acceptance (and incredible merit-based scholarship) in December puts him in a group of less than 10-percent of decisive and less-stressed students (and parents).

We (society) often use popular metrics.

Some High School students never make it in the top 10% of any “normal” and popular metric. This has the potential cumulative effect of inhibiting or eroding self-confidence.

The metric here (this post) is not one that gets talked about, unless you live with me.

Instilling self-confidence should be a top parental priority.

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This website is about our MIND. To read today’s post about our BODY, click here.

If you want to stay on this site and read more posts from this Blog, click here.