Lorie Sheffer’s Most Excellent Post

Watching The World Go By
Watching The World Go By

Lorie Sheffer, of course, is our Guest Blogger today.  Take it away Lorie.

A friend of mine, who happens to be a psychiatrist, once made an analogy that hit home for me. He said that if we overload our computer with too much data, it shuts down. The computer will just freeze.  If we overload our brains, we can become incapacitated from stress and anxiety. That is one of the reasons, if you call for an appointment with my friend the shrink, you can expect to wait about three months before he has an available appointment. Lots of people are overloading their brains with too much stuff.

I was watching Leave it to Beaver the other day. Beaver and his sidekick Larry Mondello spent the day watching some men dig a hole. Later that day I watched Andy and Opie spend a day at Myers’ Lake doing nothing but fishing and eating from a picnic basket that Aunt Bee had packed for them. It seems like back then, people didn’t think that it was a total waste of time to take a day and do nothing. I would bet if we updated those shows, Larry and The Beav would be playing with their DS or be carpooled to one of several athletic practices and not even notice the men digging that hole. Opie would have to struggle to get a word in between Andy’s Twitter updates or text messages from Barney.

In times of stress, it is good to just divert your attention from your worries with an activity or project. But what happens if you can’t be content unless you have something to distract you from your own thoughts?  In my yoga class a few years ago, it amazed me that the short mindful meditation part at the end seemed to be the most difficult thing for people to do. They were not able to just relax, clear their mind, and focus on nothing. One lady said she kept going over her to do list. Another said she felt like she was wasting her time not doing something; anything!  Perhaps there could be a problem if you find that you cannot take one day to devote to doing nothing. Maybe you need to fill your head with lots of stuff so that you can avoid thinking of something specific? It is entirely possible that people can self medicate by over scheduling and multitasking.

A few years ago I sat on the beach, watching the seagulls make pests of themselves, when a family of four put down their blankets and chairs nearby. The dad got out his Blackberry and started to do whatever it is you do with one of those things. The kids wanted him to join them in the water, but he was clearly too busy, as he had brought the office with him. Mom got out her cell phone and started a long, loud, rather personal conversation with a friend who was going through some relationship problems. The kids knew better than do disturb the adults, so they played alone. Just this week, as I was waiting for my number to be called at the seafood counter, a man brightly said, “Hello! How are you today?” I turned slightly and answered, “Fine, thank you. How are you?” He looked at me like I had three heads. Then I noticed the portable phone thing sticking out of his ear. OH! He wasn’t talking to me! He was holding a conversation with someone so that the few minutes he waited for his shrimp wouldn’t be a waste.

I challenge everyone to take a day off. Leave your house without your cell phone or Blackberry. Plan a day to do nothing. Remember when you were a kid and would look up at the clouds and try to see shapes? Try some actual face-to-face human interaction. Find out if that makes you feel relaxed or anxious. If you feel anxious, maybe it’s time to figure out what you are trying to avoid dealing with or feeling.

We can’t solve problems in a half hour like the folks in Mayfield or Mayberry. Maybe, though, we can learn from the past. Maybe we can learn the pleasure of spending an entire day watching a man dig a hole, or sitting in a tiny rowboat, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a six year old.

Not Really, She Said

Midlife Enables Us To See Clearly
Midlife Enables Us To See Clearly

“Have you ever had a midlife crisis?”, I asked the US Airlines flight attendant yesterday as we were waiting to disembark in Orlando. We sat across from one another, face to face – me in the exit row aisle seat, her in the “jump seat”.

The middle seat next to me was empty, and in the window seat was Mark, another US Air employee. Mark and I spoke at length, and he spoke with the flight attendant across from us, but I did not. Not until that question.

With an unanticipated wisdom, she replied, “Not really. I think it’s a guy thing.”

Clarifying, I added, “I’m not talking about the stereotypical convertible sports car, younger woman thing, I mean when you journey through life and arrive at the place you worked your whole life for, and suddenly realize it’s not where you want to be?”

What she said next really surprised me, “That’s because we don’t know who we are.”

Bingo!

It’s A Weird Morning

Everyone has these moments. Only the frequency varies. You know the kind – were your day begins like every other, except you just feel off-center, or weird – and you can’t put your finger on “why?”.   That said, it rarely happens in my “world”.  But it’s happening now.

Sitting here in this North Carolina Hampton Inn, at 5:30 AM, with several hours of work to do before catching a shuttle to the Charlotte airport.

It’s a weird morning.

Five days ago, I was in our son’s classroom at 9:00AM for “Teach Your Parent” day. Our son taught us several lessons from the Montessori curriculum. Then off to the Orlando airport.

Two flights and many hours later, I was on the 16th floor of the Toronto Intercontinental Hotel, connected to the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, and one block from the world’s tallest free-standing concrete structure.

A few days and a few speeches later, I’m in this North Carolina Hampton Inn.  The days and the speeches go by.  Each one, a tremendous opportunity to do great work. The days are long, and rewarding.

In the middle of this, our son has an overnight school camping trip at a Florida State Park.

You would think that writing five different, daily blogs would exhaust blog topics.  Quite the opposite. I find myself with so much to say.

It’s a weird morning.

Carpe Diem Midlife!

Canada, April 26, 2010
Canada, April 26, 2010

Ever get to the end of your work day and feel like you gave so much you hardly have energy to be engaged later in the evening?

Was feeling like that yesterday after giving two great keynote speeches here at the Metro Toronto Convention Center.

But there were several tempting choices:

  1. Run along the harbor waterfront
  2. Visit the CN Tower (world’s tallest?)
  3. Attend the Blue Jays vs Red Sox Baseball game

So, knowing that these opportunities will most likely never come again, I’ll share photos of what happened, after I get to Charlotte, North Carolina.  Carpe diem!