Isn’t that what leads us to the proverbial midlife crisis?
Ambition. Can’t live with it. Can’t live without it.
Or can we? Live without it, I mean.
And maybe not live without it, but alter the course of our ambition.
I mean, alter it from selfish to selfless.
And by selfish, I don’t mean to say it’s wrong to be professionally ambitious.
And by selfless, I don’t mean we should sell all our belongs and live with just the shirt on our back.
But there is this rare opportunity, at it’s peak in mid life, that we can really get serious about where we currently are and where we ultimately want to end up.
Most likely, at midlife, these are two diametrically opposed paths.
There is no peace without forgiveness. No happiness without peace.
Watching the Winter Olympics this past weekend with our son (9), there was a special segment about 9/11, and the role that Gander (Canada) played in clearing American airspace.
It hit me very hard that our son had no clue what 9/11 was.
Shame on me.
Of course a mini history lesson began. You know what his first reaction was to the loss of 3,000 innocent lives and mass destruction?
Revenge. Typical human, emotional behavior. You and I have to exercise self-control, even in the worst of conditions.
Mid Life Celebration readers, it’s a privilege to welcome back Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer, from Central Pennsylvania. Take it away Lorie:
“My new favorite TV show, Men of a Certain Age, recently asked the question, “At what age did you give your dreams away? At what age do you take them back?”
Thinkabout it. What was your dream? Did you achieve it or did you give it away? Did the circumstances of life stand in the way? Did you even try? Did you revisit that dream and make it fit into your life in some unexpected way?
Some dreams seem silly, some seem heroic and some seem selfless. But all of them matter if they are something that is important to us. From American Idol to the Olympics to The White House, there are people who started with a dream. Every rehabilitation hospital is filled with folks whose dream it is to walk. Every AA meeting is filled with dreams of sobriety. From the streets of North Philadelphia to the sidewalks of Central City East in Los Angeles, people dream of a better life.
What is your dream? What WAS your dream? Over the next few blogs, I’d like to share stories of people who had dreams, and how they made them come true, most often in ways that they never expected.”
Thank you Lorie for getting us to think about our dreams and the dreams of others we know. See you again next Sunday at Mid Life Celebration.
Yesterdays post was a day early. So today’s post will remain a personal reflection (but still with a message, if you pay attention). The big gig, the 30th anniversary reunion is tonight, Saturday night, not last night.
Saturday night is traditionally the week’s most popular party night. However, 30 years ago, it was really just another night, not much different than the others.
Why?
Because every night was a party night. At least for me. Was one of those folks addicted to a good time. Literally.
It’s a wonder I’m still alive. Anyway, this morning, one of my college buddies wrote this note. Seems yours truly, in spite of my irresponsible, good-time behavior, had it in me to try to make a difference for others. Here’s the excerpt:
“As I prepare for tonight, my mind drifts back to the person that wrote me a letter during that summer of 1980 and gave me the hard sale to join the colony during the upcoming fall semester. THANK YOU JEFF!! I can remember how you described the brothers and how you thought I would benefit from joining them. Wish I still had the hard copy of the letter, but now it is only good memories. Words will never be able to describe how much I have benefited as a person by being part of the greatest group of “balanced men”. So many memories and they are still continuing. Must be impossible for outsiders to understand. But, WE DO!!”
Today’s post has a personal an historical context, and there is a message to be gleaned, but it’ll be more challenging than most posts to figure out.
One of the best ways to have peace at midlife is to have deeply-rooted relationships.
Tonight, there are a bunch of Sigma Phi Epsilon brothers (50-year olds) reuniting near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for a 30th anniversary celebration.
While attending West Chester State College (later West Chester University) 1977 – 1983, I became a “founding father” for a fraternity that earned it’s charter in 1980.
Mind you, I ain’t really the fraternity type, but the ten fellas who where chosen to start the “colony” where my friends, fellow Physical Education majors. Ended up being president (still wondering why) of the Beta (2nd) pledge class.
It took a year and about 36 young men to make it happen.
There is something remarkable about laying the foundation for something versus joining something already in place, without all the blood, sweat, tears, and bonding that occur from an overwhelming challenge to do what hadn’t been done before.
Through the years, this core group of founding fathers have had annual gatherings. We were all single in the early years, but gradually wives and children started showing up.
Toso, Benny, Brad, Hop, Rick, Cort, Howard and a few others where the glue that kept the communication open and alive for three decades.
This Jimmy Buffett song, Cowboy In The Jungle, is dedicated to the Penn Tau founding fathers:
Don’t let our blind ambition, erase our intuition. Trying to cram lost years into two or three days.
