A friend asked me if I would please pick up her mail and newspaper while she was away from home. On day one of my weeklong task I went out of my door, car keys in hand. She lives in the neighborhood adjacent to my own. As I turned the key in the ignition, it hit me: WHY am I driving when I could walk? Sunny day, low humidity, comfortable temperature. Driving is something most of us who live in rural or suburban areas rely on, and rightfully so. While it would be possible for me to walk to the nearest grocery store, it would be next to impossible to drag home what I’d purchased. I legitimately do need a car for most errands. So has heading out the door with keys in hand become a habit? Something I don’t even think about? Probably.
In the time my friend was away, I logged in an extra hour and 15 minutes of physical activity. It took me 15 minutes to walk to her house and back. All because I stopped to think if taking the car was really necessary.
The only constant is change (photo: Lorie Sheffer)
I had to get up at 6AM, but was kept awake by the obnoxious sounds of my husband’s iPhone. The bright light was taken care of by my sleep mask. Still, midnight had long since passed and I was getting more than a little irritated by his constant grumbling.
Apparently iPhones had just gone through a system upgrade, which did not sit well with my 61-year-old spouse. He was used to the old way of doing things. He said the old system “had a feel to it”. It was just visually better; it was Steve Job’s vision. The newsstand looked like a wooden bookcase! The note pad actually looked like a note pad! It was classy. Now, it just blends in with all of the other phones. Now he was going to have to get used to this new version. I fell asleep with him grumbling and toying with the phone.
As I sat in the kitchen early this afternoon, I noticed that Spouse was looking more relaxed. “You know, by taking some of the old features away, they increased the battery life.” I’m sure my eyes have not rolled so far back in my head for a long time. “The more I worked with it, the more I like it. It really is more user-friendly and it has more features. It’s smoother… I’m still not used to the appearance, but that’ll just take a little time.”
At this point I’m relatively certain his problem was less with the changes and more with the fact that those changes weren’t run by him before being implemented.
For those of us with kids and grandkids, how can we ask them to try new things and expand their world if we are stuck in our own rut? If we’re too bored or lazy or fearful, then that is the example by which we lead. While comfort can be found in routine and tradition, it’s also important to exercise our brains with new challenges. Those new challenges don’t have to cost a fortune or involve months of planning. Small projects count, too. The point is to just have fun, not take it too seriously, and show those around us that it’s never too late to learn a new trick or two.
We live in a pre-packed, overly processed, fast food/chain restaurant world. With that in mind, I decided my new little adventure would be to make that iconic, old fashioned, and much-feared classic, the cheese soufflé. I didn’t get off to a good start. I had trouble finding a 2.5 Qt. soufflé dish. Three hours and two sore feet later, just as I was ready to wave the white flag, I found what I was looking for; it was sitting on a clearance table at the very back of the store. Armed with a recipe I found on one of my go-to Internet sites, I went to work in my kitchen. The end result was pretty darned good, if not perfect. Another minute in the oven and it would have been a home run. Still, in spite of the tablespoon-sized area in the center that was ever so slightly too jiggly, we enjoyed a delicious dinner. If I had failed miserably, so what? We could have eaten grilled cheese sandwiches with a hilariously deflated soufflé centerpiece.
A few odds and ends from the fabric store (photo: Lorie Sheffer)
Trying new things doesn’t have to be something to fear. It’s good for us. It’s good exercise for our brains, and it’s good for our soul. In the process, we may even discover a passion we didn’t know we had.
My living room furniture is shot. I am sick of the style and it’s old and has seen better days. That being said, the living room doesn’t get used much. Add to that the fact that my husband is now retired and new stuff is expensive, layered with my love of recycling, repurposing and reusing, and the stage was set for my new endeavor. I decided to make slipcovers. I do own a sewing machine, but its main use has been to sew things like hems and curtains, all involving straight lines and very little skill. I will not be a contender for Project Runway anytime soon, for sure. In fact, an old classmate recently reminded me about a rather unfortunate incident back in our high school home ec class. While attempting to construct a simple apron, I somehow managed to get my finger under the needle and the machine pounded the needle in through my fingernail and out the other side. As said classmate commented, “That’s not something you forget!”
The Internet is my salvation. Honestly, there’s not much you can’t learn to do if you just start Googling. A blogger by the name of Miss Mustard Seed taught me everything I needed to know, complete with extremely well detailed instructional videos. Bottom line? I slipcovered by sofa and chair, and made pillows to boot, for under $100. The “fabric” is drop cloths from my home improvement store, which when washed look very much like a heavy linen. A few odds and ends from the fabric store and I was good to go. Two days of draping and sewing, a dining room that served as a workroom, and that was it! As I said in last week’s post, I will show the results no matter if they are a success or a failure. This time I am pleased to report that I was surprised by the success! New skill learned!
“I could never do that!” is the comment I hear most often from family and friends who have been to my home and seen my “new” living room.
Gary Sheffer and Carter Ski Round Top (photo: Lorie Sheffer)
Children don’t really have a choice when it comes to trying new things, because, well, everything is new to them! They have so many firsts; first words, first steps, first day of school. By midlife, many of us settle into what we “do” and what we “don’t do”. Which is a shame. Our brains need new things to learn and to experience.
As we get older, why are we so resistant to trying new things? Is it a fear of failure, of looking foolish? Is it because we are just comfortable with things as they are? I’ve noticed that each time I try something new, I hear the same comments from a few older folks in my life. “I could never do that!” or “Oh, you can do anything!” Trust me when I say my skill set is pretty limited and I have no special talents. What I do have is a desire to try new things, and I have little fear of failure. What’s the worst that can happen, I say.
I’ve come to learn that there is a HUGE difference between “I can’t”, “I don’t want to” and “I am afraid to try.” “I can’t” really is, at times, a legitimate reason. There are some things that we literally CAN’T do. “I don’t want to” is perfectly fine as well. Really, by midlife I feel we’ve earned the right to say, “I don’t want to”. “I’m afraid to try” is the one that makes me sad. Which is why, over the next few weeks or months, I will share some of the new things I’ve attempted. I will share the failures as well as the successes. Maybe in the “comments”, a few of you will want to share your own attempts at learning a new trick or two.
