Tag: Guest Bloggers

My friend died this week. She and I had lost touch over the years, as people often do. We met years ago, when our daughters were eight or nine years old and cheered for a local midget football program. She was fun and easy to get along with, and after all these years I can’t picture her any way but smiling or laughing.

Today, when I read her obituary, the similarities between us were striking. We were almost the same age, our daughters have the same first name, and our grandsons have the same first AND last names, save for one letter difference in the spelling. She loved to garden, she loved the beach; she loved spending time with her family.

Today, I have a boring list of errands to run. I want to get my flu shot, belated as usual. The monotonous task of scrubbing residual wallpaper paste from the walls of my adult son’s childhood bedroom lies before me. I’m already thinking of something easy to make for this evening’s dinner. I can’t help but think what a wonderful gift this day will be.

As the New Year approached, I decided to do a little experiment. I wanted to focus on, and be aware of, the day to day negativity I encounter, and make an effort to avoid those sources whenever possible.

The first overt negative message arrived via Facebook on January 2. Disguised in the form of a “joke”, it borrowed an image of a cranky, elderly lady who I believe is the property of a well-known greeting card company. It was a rambling commentary, complete with quotes of a former US President, complaining about “lazy” people on public assistance. I’ve seen such posts before, ranging in commentary on time frames for immigrants having to learn “our” language (America doesn’t have an official language, by the way) or leave the country to “jokes” about people with accents. (Most of the doctors responsible for saving my father’s life had heavy accents, and I am beyond grateful they were not deported because of that.)

I am thankful that there is a delete option I can use for such drivel, while still being able to catch up on births, engagements, photos of grandkids and holiday celebration. When I say “holiday”, I am not “taking the Christ out of Christmas” as some would suggest. I mean “holidays” as in Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Passover, Memorial Day…….

I saw a bumper sticker calling our President an idiot. I saw one making a profane statement that I can’t even repeat, out of respect for Jeff’s blog.

Turning on talk radio programs I never listen to, I heard hateful tirades for the sake of ratings. The TV is filled with glamorous, wealthy housewives calling one another horrible names and sometimes even throwing punches.

Today I am only 4 days into my vigil on negativity and I am already shocked by how much of it I am exposed to every single day. If I see it, then surely it must be out there for everyone else, too. What affect does this have on us? For some, it may be depressing. For others, it may cause anger. The affect is has on me? I feel a sense of pity. I choose to avoid it and those whose message is one of gloom and doom. I’d much rather walk in the bright sunshine than to drag around a cloak of darkness.

There are times when it is almost impossible not to see the irony in a situation.

I saw their photograph on the front page of my local newspaper. In the photo, an extremely long line, overwhelming male, standing in wait to enter a large gun show at a nearby venue. Because of recent national headlines, many of these men were interviewed as they stood in wait for the doors to open. Every one who was interviewed said they bought guns for self defense; they bought them for protection. I looked closely at this photo, and saw that many of them were more than slightly overweight, and many were smoking.

I am not writing this to voice my opinion on The Second Amendment or of the laws surrounding this issue. What I am scratching my head over is the fact that “homicide” is #15 on the list of causes of death in the United States. The number one cause is “heart disease”, followed by “cancer”, “stroke”, “lung disease”, “accident” and “diabetes”.

Certainly these men were all going to stop on the way home for a nicotine patch to aid in the cessation of their cigarette habit, go home for a meal of grilled fish with a side of leafy greens and a fresh fruit plate for dessert, and hit the sack early so they could get up early the next morning and go wait in line to sign up for their new gym membership. Or go for a long walk. Or ski or swim or play a game of pick up basketball with other men they met in line at the gun show.  Isn’t that what everyone does who is concerned about self-protection?

 

I’ve always needed some sort of creative outlet, so holidays are my time to go for it.  Last year, I added decorated sugar cookie snowflakes to my repertoire of baked holiday treats. This year I upped the creativity factor by investing in a pastry bag and a self-education course on decorating via some very helpful Internet sites.  I have to admit that exhausting as it was, I totally enjoyed the two full day process and was pretty happy with the results. So happy, in fact, that I posted the above photo on my facebook page.

My brother’s comment? “Where are the chocolate chips?” Chocolate chip cookies are his favorite. Apparently, according to the comments on HIS comment, they are the favorite of many.

Lesson learned? Sometimes it’s the simple things. Sometimes we think that more effort we put into something, the more others will appreciate what we’ve done for them. We also need to think, are we doing what we’re doing for THEM or are we doing what we’re doing for OURSELVES? I will admit that although I baked these embellished cookies for everyone to enjoy, I mostly did it for me. I wanted the creative outlet and I wanted to learn a new skill. I think it’s fantastic to do something just for me sometimes.

Last night I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The entire process took me about an hour and a half. They are now waiting in a container on my table, ready for me to drop off at my brother’s apartment later this afternoon.

Maybe the best way to honor the memory of those who can’t be with us this holiday season is to appreciate those who can be with us.