Lorie Sheffer – Page 39 – Disney Leadership Keynote Speaker

Take A Deep Breath

Lorie Sheffer, Guest Blogger, thank you for being here for us every weekend:

Last week I spent the night alone in my childhood bedroom. The lavender walls, which I grudgingly compromised my original choice of dark purple for, have been changed to antique white and my beloved window seat has been removed. Needless to say, my posters of Peter Frampton and Aerosmith are long gone. It now has the look of a very pleasant but infrequently used guest room.

Exhausted, I soon found that I couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was the thought that I had just peed in my closet. After my brother and I left home, my parents converted our closets into what is now a bathroom that is shared by both bedrooms. Nice, waiting till we left home to think of that one! Growing up, we had one bathroom, and it was on the first floor. I opened the door to the little storage area under the eaves and gingerly lifted the loose floorboard, hoping to find something that I had hidden there years before. Apparently I had cleaned things out long ago or my father had discovered my secret hiding place. My stomach lurched, and then I reminded myself that I am 51 years old and my dad hasn’t grounded me in a very long time. Snooping through dresser drawers, I found boxes of jewelry that had belonged to my now deceased grandmothers. Picking up each piece, the vivid memories of them being worn had me in tears. The last thing I found was my puka shell necklace. My best friend and I each bought one in Ocean City Maryland in the summer of 1976, just before our senior year of high school. She committed suicide when we were 30 years old. I sat on the bed holding the necklace, thinking of the countless sleepovers we had, the secrets we shared and the midnight laughter that would wake the rest of my family. I put the necklace into my overnight bag and finally fell asleep.

I woke to the sound of morning rush hour traffic on the busy rural road. Slightly disoriented, eyes gritty from lack of sleep, I realized the sun was just barely rising. I almost felt as if I should hurry down the steps, shower, and run wet headed out of the door so I wouldn’t miss the school bus. Instead I padded down to the kitchen, only to find two elderly folks, one using a walker and the other looking to me for guidance. I poured a cup of coffee and headed out to the end of the driveway for the morning paper. Just as I walked back up onto the porch, the school bus drove by. I crossed my arms against the cold air, took a deep breath and walked back inside.

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All He Wants

The World is so blessed to have people like Guest Blogger, Lorie Sheffer, to write about things that matter. We can all use frequent reminders. Here’s Lorie’s reminder for us:

Who cares if the gravy is slightly lumpy or the pumpkin pie cracks in the center? It’s been a tough year. We suffered through the loss of dear friends and layoffs from jobs. The coup de grace was the sudden, unexpected illness of my father. On June 11, I found him barely able to stand, gasping for breath, the color of a pigeon. My first thought was, “Dad’s dying.” Once in the emergency room, it was soon discovered that he was going into septic shock; his kidneys and other organ systems were in the process of shutting down. My initial thought had been correct; Dad was dying.

One hundred and sixty days later, Thursday November 18, Dad came home. It took 5 surgeries, a month in ICU – unconscious and on a ventilator-, two kidney dialysis treatments, three months with an NG tube feeding him, two weeks in a rehabilitation hospital and over a month in a nursing home/rehabilitation facility. He doesn’t remember his 78^th birthday in July, when he was still experiencing ICU delirium. Thankfully, he is now mentally sharp and his prognosis is good. He is getting stronger every day.

My husband and I usually host a rather eclectic Thanksgiving at our home. We’re never sure who will show up, so we just cook tons of food, including both a roasted turkey and one that is ceremoniously deep-fried in the front yard. Anyone who wants to stop in and share the feast is welcome. This year, even though Dad could make the trip across town, I told my mother that we would make it easy for him. I will cook and serve the meal at their house. Mom worried that she has not had time to clean behind the furniture. I assured her “The Moving of the Sofa to Check for Dust Bunnies” is not a Thanksgiving tradition. We will still have our big crazy party at my house on Saturday, but Thursday will be for Dad. I can think of nothing in this world more appropriate than having him sit at the table, surrounded by his extremely thankful family. As my son recently said, “All Pop really wants in life is to have all of his family in a room at the same time.” All he wants in LIFE. What a special and meaningful Thanksgiving. I wish peace to those who were not as fortunate as we are, and hope to those who are still making the journey.

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They Know What You’re Thinking

Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer:

“Our opinions become fixed at the point where we stop thinking.” – Ernest Renan

Do you ever change your mind or your opinion about something once you’ve learned new or different information? Or do you form an opinion and then only listen to information that reinforces the belief you already have? When it comes to your mind, is the door shut or is it open? Do you honestly look at ALL the facts, or do you rely on someone else to provide you with information that is intended to get you to share their own view? Perhaps it’s becoming easier to allow someone else to tell us what we think than it is for us to listen to the facts and then decide for ourselves. Maybe talk radio is becoming the intellectual equivalent of getting a meal at the drive thru window. It’s fast, it’s easy and it’s cheap.

I know folks who, no matter what evidence they are presented to the contrary, will not budge from their original stance. There’s something to be said for loyalty, but there is that line between being true to your convictions and just being bullheaded.

“Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow.” ~Glen Beaman

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Happy Holidays From Lorie

Didn't The Whole Thing Start In A Desert? — Didn't The Whole Thing Start In A Desert Somewhere?

Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer:

The last of the Jack-o-lanterns are shriveling and moldy, the mornings are frosty and the leaves are falling. Which can mean only one thing: the countdown is on till the holiday season. By “holiday season”, I am referring to the time that includes Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve and Day. For the majority of Americans, there will be parades, parties, religious celebrations, decorations and lights and traditional foods. Cookies will be baked, gifts will be wrapped and songs will be sung. Tis also the season for a less festive obsession. I am waiting in anticipation for the day when I start to hear the complaints. Last year, my award for most ridiculous display of total contradiction of seasonal good will went to the man who screamed obscenities at a bank teller. Her crime was having the audacity to wish him “Happy Holidays!” instead of “Merry Christmas!” Their story actually made my hometown newspaper. This guy’s reasoning was that she was somehow trying to steal his religion from him. Ironically, she shared his religion. This seems to be becoming an increasingly common knee jerk reaction to what was once considered a warm, friendly and socially acceptable holiday greeting.

I will soon shop for Christmas cards. One year I chose a card with an artists’ rendition of Madonna and child that was just beautiful. Another year I chose a simple white dove with the sentiment “Peace on Earth”. Last year it was a depiction of a pair of cardinals sitting on a snow covered branch with the sentiment “Wishing you a warm and wonderful holiday season.” Each year the intent is the same; I send cards to people who mean something to me and to whom I want to express my friendship. When I send a card that doesn’t specifically identify the season as belonging to any particular religion, it is not my effort to offend, to “take the Christ out of Christmas” or to be part of some type of sinister effort to ban Christianity from the face of the Earth. I am seriously considering skipping cards this year, save for immediate family and my very closest friends. God forbid I should offend someone by inadvertently sending the incorrect warm wishes.

“Happy Holidays” is not a new greeting thought up by some left wing fringe group or cell group bent on the destruction of religious freedom. In fact the song, written by Irving Berlin in 1942 and sung by Bing Crosby, makes no mention of Christmas in its original lyrics. I don’t think anyone wanted it banned at the time. Perhaps when someone wishes us to have a Happy Holiday, we should just accept it as a wish for a happy holiday season and not assume the person is in any way trying to deprive us of our beliefs. “Happy Holidays!” does not mean ‘I hope your dog dies”, or “You’re an ugly beast” or “I wish you would drop dead.” I’m not sure at what point or exactly why this formerly benign greeting became likened to committing a hate crime. Maybe instead of being offended, it would actually be more Christian-like to simply smile back and say, “Thank you. Same to you!” Peace on Earth, goodwill to all.

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Tim Gunn Makes It Work

Who Knows More About Manners Than A Cub Scout?

In her Guest Blogger post today, Lorie Sheffer shares a delightfully refreshing day dream – that manners still have a chance in our society.

What has happened to civility and manners? I’m far from being a stuffy person, but I am appalled by the total lack of basic respect we are seeing all around us. From a member of congress screaming out “You lie!” to the President during a speech, to Kanye West’s rude antics during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech, it seems that good manners have flown out the window. Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe this is what it means to hit middle age, but I longed for someone to step in and show the kids how it’s done. As the song says, I was holding out for a hero.

Which leads me to my love of Mr. Tim Gunn. Tim grabbed my attention the moment I first laid eyes on him. Who was this lanky, silver haired man with the impeccable grooming of Cary Grant and elegance of Gregory Peck? He looked and spoke as if he stepped out of another era. The more I watched the more my fascination grew. He is funny and he is honest. He has a distain for rudeness. His now famous “make it work” applies to many things in life, not just what a designer is creating in the workroom.

A few years ago I had the good fortune to meet Tim Gunn face to face. Tim was just as I had imagined him to be. He smelled of fresh laundry and sunshine. His shirt was a blinding, dazzling white. He was impeccable. He spoke to everyone in the room as though he was the one who was honored to be meeting them. The man radiated warmth and kindness. He made everyone feel at ease. He reminded me of a superhero whose special power is graciousness. I am fairly certain I actually swooned. Tim Gunn is the personification of civility in a world gone wild. Tim Gunn is a gentleman. He calls things as he sees them, but he does so in such a way as to be neither offensive nor boorish.

Recently, Tim made a public service video that is available on Youtube. It was made in response to the recent news of the suicides of gay teens after they had been mercilessly bullied. And what is bullying if not the ultimate in bad manners? Tim’s video is part of the “It gets better” message, and in it he tells of his attempted suicide as a teen struggling with his sexuality. While he may have become known as the mentor to the designers on Project Runway, Tim Gunn has become so much more. Under the guise of something as seemingly superficial as fashion, Tim has become a mentor for manners. Perhaps he is so beloved because he reminds us that kindness and gentility still exist in this crazy world. I recently read a quote by Mr. Gunn that says it all:

“Take the high road. You will never regret it. No matter how much anger and strife you feel you’re facing, no matter how badly you want to lash out, don’t do it. You’ll never regret taking the high road. There isn’t one single time that I’ve lashed out that I haven’t deeply regretted it.”

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