Guest Bloggers – Page 20 – Disney Leadership Keynote Speaker

All He Wants

The World is so blessed to have people like Guest Blogger, Lorie Sheffer, to write about things that matter. We can all use frequent reminders. Here’s Lorie’s reminder for us:

Who cares if the gravy is slightly lumpy or the pumpkin pie cracks in the center? It’s been a tough year. We suffered through the loss of dear friends and layoffs from jobs. The coup de grace was the sudden, unexpected illness of my father. On June 11, I found him barely able to stand, gasping for breath, the color of a pigeon. My first thought was, “Dad’s dying.” Once in the emergency room, it was soon discovered that he was going into septic shock; his kidneys and other organ systems were in the process of shutting down. My initial thought had been correct; Dad was dying.

One hundred and sixty days later, Thursday November 18, Dad came home. It took 5 surgeries, a month in ICU – unconscious and on a ventilator-, two kidney dialysis treatments, three months with an NG tube feeding him, two weeks in a rehabilitation hospital and over a month in a nursing home/rehabilitation facility. He doesn’t remember his 78^th birthday in July, when he was still experiencing ICU delirium. Thankfully, he is now mentally sharp and his prognosis is good. He is getting stronger every day.

My husband and I usually host a rather eclectic Thanksgiving at our home. We’re never sure who will show up, so we just cook tons of food, including both a roasted turkey and one that is ceremoniously deep-fried in the front yard. Anyone who wants to stop in and share the feast is welcome. This year, even though Dad could make the trip across town, I told my mother that we would make it easy for him. I will cook and serve the meal at their house. Mom worried that she has not had time to clean behind the furniture. I assured her “The Moving of the Sofa to Check for Dust Bunnies” is not a Thanksgiving tradition. We will still have our big crazy party at my house on Saturday, but Thursday will be for Dad. I can think of nothing in this world more appropriate than having him sit at the table, surrounded by his extremely thankful family. As my son recently said, “All Pop really wants in life is to have all of his family in a room at the same time.” All he wants in LIFE. What a special and meaningful Thanksgiving. I wish peace to those who were not as fortunate as we are, and hope to those who are still making the journey.

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They Know What You’re Thinking

Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer:

“Our opinions become fixed at the point where we stop thinking.” – Ernest Renan

Do you ever change your mind or your opinion about something once you’ve learned new or different information? Or do you form an opinion and then only listen to information that reinforces the belief you already have? When it comes to your mind, is the door shut or is it open? Do you honestly look at ALL the facts, or do you rely on someone else to provide you with information that is intended to get you to share their own view? Perhaps it’s becoming easier to allow someone else to tell us what we think than it is for us to listen to the facts and then decide for ourselves. Maybe talk radio is becoming the intellectual equivalent of getting a meal at the drive thru window. It’s fast, it’s easy and it’s cheap.

I know folks who, no matter what evidence they are presented to the contrary, will not budge from their original stance. There’s something to be said for loyalty, but there is that line between being true to your convictions and just being bullheaded.

“Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow.” ~Glen Beaman

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Happy Holidays From Lorie

Didn't The Whole Thing Start In A Desert? — Didn't The Whole Thing Start In A Desert Somewhere?

Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer:

The last of the Jack-o-lanterns are shriveling and moldy, the mornings are frosty and the leaves are falling. Which can mean only one thing: the countdown is on till the holiday season. By “holiday season”, I am referring to the time that includes Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Eve and Day. For the majority of Americans, there will be parades, parties, religious celebrations, decorations and lights and traditional foods. Cookies will be baked, gifts will be wrapped and songs will be sung. Tis also the season for a less festive obsession. I am waiting in anticipation for the day when I start to hear the complaints. Last year, my award for most ridiculous display of total contradiction of seasonal good will went to the man who screamed obscenities at a bank teller. Her crime was having the audacity to wish him “Happy Holidays!” instead of “Merry Christmas!” Their story actually made my hometown newspaper. This guy’s reasoning was that she was somehow trying to steal his religion from him. Ironically, she shared his religion. This seems to be becoming an increasingly common knee jerk reaction to what was once considered a warm, friendly and socially acceptable holiday greeting.

I will soon shop for Christmas cards. One year I chose a card with an artists’ rendition of Madonna and child that was just beautiful. Another year I chose a simple white dove with the sentiment “Peace on Earth”. Last year it was a depiction of a pair of cardinals sitting on a snow covered branch with the sentiment “Wishing you a warm and wonderful holiday season.” Each year the intent is the same; I send cards to people who mean something to me and to whom I want to express my friendship. When I send a card that doesn’t specifically identify the season as belonging to any particular religion, it is not my effort to offend, to “take the Christ out of Christmas” or to be part of some type of sinister effort to ban Christianity from the face of the Earth. I am seriously considering skipping cards this year, save for immediate family and my very closest friends. God forbid I should offend someone by inadvertently sending the incorrect warm wishes.

“Happy Holidays” is not a new greeting thought up by some left wing fringe group or cell group bent on the destruction of religious freedom. In fact the song, written by Irving Berlin in 1942 and sung by Bing Crosby, makes no mention of Christmas in its original lyrics. I don’t think anyone wanted it banned at the time. Perhaps when someone wishes us to have a Happy Holiday, we should just accept it as a wish for a happy holiday season and not assume the person is in any way trying to deprive us of our beliefs. “Happy Holidays!” does not mean ‘I hope your dog dies”, or “You’re an ugly beast” or “I wish you would drop dead.” I’m not sure at what point or exactly why this formerly benign greeting became likened to committing a hate crime. Maybe instead of being offended, it would actually be more Christian-like to simply smile back and say, “Thank you. Same to you!” Peace on Earth, goodwill to all.

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Tim Gunn Makes It Work

Who Knows More About Manners Than A Cub Scout?

In her Guest Blogger post today, Lorie Sheffer shares a delightfully refreshing day dream – that manners still have a chance in our society.

What has happened to civility and manners? I’m far from being a stuffy person, but I am appalled by the total lack of basic respect we are seeing all around us. From a member of congress screaming out “You lie!” to the President during a speech, to Kanye West’s rude antics during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech, it seems that good manners have flown out the window. Maybe I’m getting old. Maybe this is what it means to hit middle age, but I longed for someone to step in and show the kids how it’s done. As the song says, I was holding out for a hero.

Which leads me to my love of Mr. Tim Gunn. Tim grabbed my attention the moment I first laid eyes on him. Who was this lanky, silver haired man with the impeccable grooming of Cary Grant and elegance of Gregory Peck? He looked and spoke as if he stepped out of another era. The more I watched the more my fascination grew. He is funny and he is honest. He has a distain for rudeness. His now famous “make it work” applies to many things in life, not just what a designer is creating in the workroom.

A few years ago I had the good fortune to meet Tim Gunn face to face. Tim was just as I had imagined him to be. He smelled of fresh laundry and sunshine. His shirt was a blinding, dazzling white. He was impeccable. He spoke to everyone in the room as though he was the one who was honored to be meeting them. The man radiated warmth and kindness. He made everyone feel at ease. He reminded me of a superhero whose special power is graciousness. I am fairly certain I actually swooned. Tim Gunn is the personification of civility in a world gone wild. Tim Gunn is a gentleman. He calls things as he sees them, but he does so in such a way as to be neither offensive nor boorish.

Recently, Tim made a public service video that is available on Youtube. It was made in response to the recent news of the suicides of gay teens after they had been mercilessly bullied. And what is bullying if not the ultimate in bad manners? Tim’s video is part of the “It gets better” message, and in it he tells of his attempted suicide as a teen struggling with his sexuality. While he may have become known as the mentor to the designers on Project Runway, Tim Gunn has become so much more. Under the guise of something as seemingly superficial as fashion, Tim has become a mentor for manners. Perhaps he is so beloved because he reminds us that kindness and gentility still exist in this crazy world. I recently read a quote by Mr. Gunn that says it all:

“Take the high road. You will never regret it. No matter how much anger and strife you feel you’re facing, no matter how badly you want to lash out, don’t do it. You’ll never regret taking the high road. There isn’t one single time that I’ve lashed out that I haven’t deeply regretted it.”

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Why Should You Be Spared?

No Leaf Is Spared From Falling (from yesterday)

Guest Blogger, Lorie Sheffer:

Several years ago my friend told me about advice her mother had just given her. We had to laugh at the harshness of it. After pouring out her heart over coffee and strudel, her mother simply looked at her and asked, “Why should you be spared?” A pity party would have been nice. Soothing words would have been welcome. Instead she got five words- no nonsense, old-fashioned German wisdom- that must have felt like a bucket of cold water in the face.

The last five years of my life have been chock full of some real doozies. While I was in my doctor’s office for a regular check-up, she asked how things were going. I gave her a partial list, and her eyes got wide and her jaw dropped. She asked if I was OK. “Well, it’s been rough, but why should I be spared?” I answered.

We all know that bad things happen. People get sick. We lose loved ones. There are times when the economy is rough. (Remember waiting in lines at the gas station in the 70s?) Nobody wants it to be his or her turn at the tough stuff, but if not you, then who? It’s not like the other guy deserves it, either. There are times when, no matter how much we try to prevent it, we can be doing everything right and we just happen to draw the short straw.

Ever notice how, when times are good and life is calm and serene, you rarely hear “Why me?” If you do hear someone ask why he or she deserves such a good and happy life, those around them will jump right in to assure them that their good fortune should be enjoyed. “Why should they be spared” happiness?

There are things we can do to contribute toward our economic security or good health or happy marriage. Wise investments, a good education and careful saving can mean financial stability. Eating a healthy diet, exercising, not smoking and getting regular preventative care can stack the odds in our favor when it comes to our physical well being. But there are some things that just happen. Sometimes life can seem like a crapshoot of sorts. We read about people who dropped out of school and went on to become multimillionaires. I had a great uncle who drank heavily, smoked and was grossly overweight and lived to be well into his nineties. My husband, on the other hand, didn’t smoke, drank in moderation and exercised like it was his job, yet he had a massive stroke when he was forty-four years old. My best friend was a wonderful and loving wife and mother, yet after thirty years of marriage her husband left her for another woman. Perhaps the bad things in life happen as a way for us to have a greater appreciation of the good things. The sun is always brightest just after the storm has passed. That first warm day of spring is so joyous after a harsh winter, as is the first crisp fall day after a sweltering summer.

I have always been a person who has to know the answer. I feel more secure if there is a reason why. I suppose I rationalize that if I can find a reason why, then I can figure out how to stop the same thing from happening again. It gives me a sense of control. It’s hard to accept that sometimes, bad things happen to good people. And yet, I find strange comfort in Maria’s words. She was being kinder than it seemed. Sometimes the answer is simple. “Why should you be spared?”

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