It’s nice to have something special to look forward to. If we wait for that invitation to arrive in the mail, or for the days to pass until the next holiday, life can get pretty stressful/boring/mundane. There are lots of parties just waiting to happen and many events worth a little celebration, if we just look for them.
One of my many eccentricities is turning “normal” events into mini-celebrations. The recent wedding of Kate and William turned into a British inspired brunch at my house. The Presidential Inauguration was reason for a champagne brunch and a special dinner to enjoy while waiting for The Gown to be revealed at The Heroes Ball. There are finale parties for reality shows and season premiers of PBS series. Groundhog Day is worthy of a party in my world. I don’t have to have an extensive guest list. Sometimes I spend days planning and baking for just my husband and myself.
Recently, I was asked why I “bother” going to all the trouble. Indeed. Why bother doing something that I enjoy, and why add a celebratory feeling to an otherwise ordinary event?
Have you ever read your label? Deserved or not, we all have a label. If a survey were taken of twenty people who know us, what would they say if asked to use one word to describe us? We’d likely see a few different ones, and perhaps even some conflicting ones. But most likely, we’d see the same word used several times.
What’s your label? Be it a positive or negative word, do you deserve it? What can you do to keep it, or to change it? If it truly is not a word that fits, why do people have that impression of you?
My friend died this week. She and I had lost touch over the years, as people often do. We met years ago, when our daughters were eight or nine years old and cheered for a local midget football program. She was fun and easy to get along with, and after all these years I can’t picture her any way but smiling or laughing.
Today, when I read her obituary, the similarities between us were striking. We were almost the same age, our daughters have the same first name, and our grandsons have the same first AND last names, save for one letter difference in the spelling. She loved to garden, she loved the beach; she loved spending time with her family.
Today, I have a boring list of errands to run. I want to get my flu shot, belated as usual. The monotonous task of scrubbing residual wallpaper paste from the walls of my adult son’s childhood bedroom lies before me. I’m already thinking of something easy to make for this evening’s dinner. I can’t help but think what a wonderful gift this day will be.
As the New Year approached, I decided to do a little experiment. I wanted to focus on, and be aware of, the day to day negativity I encounter, and make an effort to avoid those sources whenever possible.
The first overt negative message arrived via Facebook on January 2. Disguised in the form of a “joke”, it borrowed an image of a cranky, elderly lady who I believe is the property of a well-known greeting card company. It was a rambling commentary, complete with quotes of a former US President, complaining about “lazy” people on public assistance. I’ve seen such posts before, ranging in commentary on time frames for immigrants having to learn “our” language (America doesn’t have an official language, by the way) or leave the country to “jokes” about people with accents. (Most of the doctors responsible for saving my father’s life had heavy accents, and I am beyond grateful they were not deported because of that.)
I am thankful that there is a delete option I can use for such drivel, while still being able to catch up on births, engagements, photos of grandkids and holiday celebration. When I say “holiday”, I am not “taking the Christ out of Christmas” as some would suggest. I mean “holidays” as in Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Passover, Memorial Day…….
I saw a bumper sticker calling our President an idiot. I saw one making a profane statement that I can’t even repeat, out of respect for Jeff’s blog.
Turning on talk radio programs I never listen to, I heard hateful tirades for the sake of ratings. The TV is filled with glamorous, wealthy housewives calling one another horrible names and sometimes even throwing punches.
Today I am only 4 days into my vigil on negativity and I am already shocked by how much of it I am exposed to every single day. If I see it, then surely it must be out there for everyone else, too. What affect does this have on us? For some, it may be depressing. For others, it may cause anger. The affect is has on me? I feel a sense of pity. I choose to avoid it and those whose message is one of gloom and doom. I’d much rather walk in the bright sunshine than to drag around a cloak of darkness.
There are times when it is almost impossible not to see the irony in a situation.
I saw their photograph on the front page of my local newspaper. In the photo, an extremely long line, overwhelming male, standing in wait to enter a large gun show at a nearby venue. Because of recent national headlines, many of these men were interviewed as they stood in wait for the doors to open. Every one who was interviewed said they bought guns for self defense; they bought them for protection. I looked closely at this photo, and saw that many of them were more than slightly overweight, and many were smoking.
I am not writing this to voice my opinion on The Second Amendment or of the laws surrounding this issue. What I am scratching my head over is the fact that “homicide” is #15 on the list of causes of death in the United States. The number one cause is “heart disease”, followed by “cancer”, “stroke”, “lung disease”, “accident” and “diabetes”.
Certainly these men were all going to stop on the way home for a nicotine patch to aid in the cessation of their cigarette habit, go home for a meal of grilled fish with a side of leafy greens and a fresh fruit plate for dessert, and hit the sack early so they could get up early the next morning and go wait in line to sign up for their new gym membership. Or go for a long walk. Or ski or swim or play a game of pick up basketball with other men they met in line at the gun show. Isn’t that what everyone does who is concerned about self-protection?