Pastor Martin Neimoller

LOVE Is All That Matters
LOVE Is All That Matters

Ok, it’s Thursday, not Sunday. Makes no difference to Lorie Sheffer which day her Guest Blogger post hits the press. Please enjoy this. If you have a brain and a heart, this one’s for you.

“They came first for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.

 Then they came for the trade unionists,
 and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. 

Then they came for the Jews,
 and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.

 Then they came for me
 and by that time no one was left to speak up.”
That famous quote is credited to Pastor Martin Neimoller (1892-1984). He was referring to the fact that basically decent German people turned a blind eye as the Nazis targeted group after group in their horrifying rise to power. In doing so, over six million Jews were exterminated, along with five million others including Jehovah’s Witnesses, Gypsies, Poles, homosexuals, Soviet POWs, the handicapped and mentally ill and political groups including liberals and socialists.

Over thirty years ago, I learned what it feels like to be a religious minority when I married a Jew. Most of the bigotry wasn’t overt, but that seemed to make it even scarier; if danger wears a sign, we are not caught unaware. I lived in this rather conservative, predominantly Christian area we were not exposed to different cultures or religions. When he moved here from New York City, my ex-husband was the only Jew in his new, small high school. He was forced to participate with Christmas and Easter programs in this public school, but denied excused absences for observance of Jewish holy days or holidays. When a teacher angrily referred to him as “a kike”, there were no consequences for that slur. It was assumed he was “a rich Jew”. When we got married, comments were made to me that if I converted to Judaism, all of our children and I would burn in Hell for not accepting Jesus as our Savior. I once sat across the table at a family Hanukkah dinner in The Bronx from an elderly couple, their concentration camp numbers still crudely tattooed on their forearms. Grandpa would tell us of how, when he immigrated to America, he was forced to walk on the opposite side of the street from the churches or he would be spit on. In my heart I knew that there was most certainly a place for them in heaven.
Not too many years ago, a remark was made to me concerning a play at my son’s high school. It was Children of a Lesser God. “My kids could never put on that play because of what’s across the street from their high school. You know how THEY are. They don’t believe in God.” This was a reference to our city’s only Synagogue. I do, in fact, know how “they” are. They are people whose religious beliefs mean as much to them as anyone else who is a person of faith. They are not all investment bankers or doctors. They are not all wealthy. They are not ALL anything. The family I was part of didn’t fit any of the stereotypes.

I now watch as another religion is being looked upon with scorn, fear and hatred. Just as all Germans were not Nazis, not all Muslims are terrorists. None of my homosexual friends are trying to destroy my marriage or anyone else’s marriage. My non-Christian friends are not trying to take away Christmas. I know some very moral, wonderful agnostics and atheists. Perhaps this is a perfect time to step back and take a good look at history. It seems to have a way of repeating itself.

Thank you Lorie, for your insight. It seems we all have a lot to learn about each other. Let us never tire in this endeavor.

Happiness Is…

Do You Love Me For My Looks?
Do You Love Me For My Looks?
Or For My Strength?
Or For My Strength?
Or Because of My Friends?
Or Because of My Friends?

Lorie Sheffer’s post today offers a thought provoking challenge. It gets us thinking, and that is one of the reasons we tune in every Sunday. Take it away Lorie:

“Happiness = spending time with people who love you for who you are instead of just accepting you for who you are.”

I have a rather eclectic mix of friends, to say the least. One of my favorites wrote this as her Facebook status update. I am so fortunate to have amazing people in my life who, according to some, are eccentric or odd or different. Which is the reason I love them in the first place. They dare to be themselves no matter what.

Do you love your friends or family in spite of things about them you consider to be different or odd or out of the norm, or because of it? How about the reasons people choose to spend time with you? Are you your real, authentic self, or are you trying to fit the mold that society expects and readily accepts?

Lorie gives us a good paradox to work on this week. Did you know there are actually people who dislike healthy, active friends. And there are people who dislike those who are sedentary.

She Believes In Us

Our good friend and regular MidLife Celebration Sunday Guest Blogger, Lorie Sheffer, thought I might enjoy this 61-second video, recorded by this young child with big dreams. Lorie was right:

Will one of your big dreams involve getting healthy, or staying healthy?

Instant Gratification

Well, There's Fruit On The Plate
Well, There's Fruit On The Plate

I instantly get gratified each week when I see Lorie’s email with her “blog attachment”. Take it away Lorie:

She finished her dinner of grilled steak, loaded baked potato and deep-fried onion with gooey dipping sauce. Just as she folded her napkin, a waiter walked by carrying a tray on which stood a hot fudge sundae. “I’ll have one of those!” she said, feeling instant gratification. The next day she went for her regular medical checkup and was told that her cholesterol was still above reasonable limits and that she had to begin taking medication. She also had type 2 diabetes. Her impulsive decisions and need to be instantly gratified have now affected her long-term health and happiness.

My friend called me in tears. Her husband had cheated on her. He swore that it “meant nothing”. Their family has been hurt and they are now headed toward divorce. His need for instant gratification has ruined his long-term happiness.

Our financial advisor told us of the clients he has who, after only a year into a new Presidency, were angry that we were not out of the recession. They thought we should be back on track and the economy should be stronger than ever. He tried to explain that it takes time, and that things are moving slowly in the right direction. There is no magic wand solution to a global economic crisis, and yet the public doesn’t want to hear that it takes time. They want to be able to receive loans for larger homes and spend money on vacations and newer more expensive cars, not understanding that lack of impulse control helped lead us into this mess. They want to buy now and pay the bill later, if ever.

Hopefully as of next week I will be spending my days in a rehabilitation hospital instead of an acute care hospital. I am preparing my father for the long road he faces. I have told him that some other patients will have an even longer recovery than he will have. There is not a quick fix. There is no other way to becoming functional than to work hard every day. It takes time. We all want him home NOW. We all want him to get out of bed and walk, to be able to swallow his food and to get in his truck and drive off to work. But we cannot snap our fingers and have those things happen. It is going to take months of hard work and patience and determination. He understands all too well. Our family has been down this road before, after my husband’s stroke. It is not fast and it is not easy.

We used to have to wait until evening, when we heard the voice Walter Cronkite or Chet Huntley and David Brinkley, to hear the news of the day. Now, we can turn on one of many 24-hour news shows, or head to our computer, or even get instant updates via our blackberry. We don’t have to wait. In many respects this is good. Sometimes having instant access is even lifesaving. But what happens when we become so accustomed to getting what we want when we want it that we no longer have the ability to wait? If we aren’t used to ever having to exercise impulse control, how do we learn patience? How do we learn patience when we are used to instant gratification?

There are times in life when not being able to delay our instant gratification will undermine our long-term happiness. There are times when, no matter what technology is at hand, there is no fast and easy way to an end result that we need or want. What then? Sometimes we cannot have what we want when we want it. Sometimes we must wait, and understand, in the words of The Most Trusted Man in America, the late Walter Cronkite, “that’s the way it is.”

Lane 8

Reserved Parking

Reserved Parking?
Reserved Parking?

Our Sunday regular Guest Blogger, Lorie Sheffer, returns to entertain and enlighten us:

I thought that after some time had passed I would learn to ignore it, but it’s been several years now and it still irks me whenever I see it. It is especially annoying when the parking lot is full and I am having an especially rough day. There it sits, mocking me. It is the dreaded Stork Parking sign at my local Food Lion. “Stork Parking” in bold letters, with a character of a bird that belongs on a Vlasic pickle jar. The smaller print beneath the bird gives details for those who may question it; “For new and expectant mothers”.

I have a vague recollection of being pregnant. It wasn’t that bad. People threw parties for me and gave me gifts. I got to buy new clothes. When you are pregnant, you can take a nap when you want or prop up your swollen feet and nobody questions it. You’re “doing it for the baby.” Now I am 51 years old and nobody cares. Google the “35 symptoms of menopause” and see how much fun that sounds like. I’ve paid my dues and I want a special parking space, preferably in a shady area away from noonday sun. It would really be nice to have shuttle service to and from the entrance of the store. While they’re at it, how about a parking space reserved for Mothers of Teenagers? Now there’s a group of women who deserve some special treatment. Maybe menopausal women can get a sign with a vulture on it, for days when we feel especially discarded.

This morning I had to make a run to Food Lion. I forgot to get Gary’s orange juice when I got groceries yesterday. (see menopausal symptom #13, Disturbing memory lapses) The parking lot was nearly empty. The Stork Parking sign was taunting me. I glanced at my reflection in the rear view mirror. I looked like a character from a Tim Burton movie. I was up all night having hot flashes. I pulled into the coveted parking spot. What were they going to do, come out and make me pee on a stick? Tell me to my face that I am too old to reproduce? While I was in getting Gary’s juice, I thought I may as well get myself some Estroven, Nair Facial Hair Remover, Clinical Strength Secret Antiperspirant and a jumbo sized box of Twin Pops. I forced myself to walk past a gorgeous display of the most beautiful glazed doughnuts I had ever laid eyes on. It’s been SO LONG since I’ve had a doughnut! I also saw a shelf of Extra Large Muffin Tops. “No thanks, I’ve already got one of those.”

As I stood in the check out line, I glanced at the magazines. There on the cover of one of them was Jim Bob and Michelle Dugger, holding what I think is their twentieth child. They say they are ready to have another one. Wow. The things some women will do for a good parking spot!

(scroll down for yesterday’s post or go to Lane 8 )