Guest Blogger – Page 8 – Disney Leadership Keynote Speaker

Guest blogger Lorie Sheffer: Myside bias

Pumpkins for sale — We judge and are judged, mostly by what we see or hear, whether it’s true or not (photo: Lorie Sheffer)

Myside Bias. Confirmation Bias. “The tendency for people to favor information that confirms their preconceptions or hypotheses regardless of whether the information is true.”

It’s a common occurrence. People want to prove they are right, and so they tend to filter any information they see or hear. Sometimes they will totally disregard anything that is contrary to what they already believe.

How sad that this happens when we have decided we don’t like someone. We will only listen to or believe negative things about them. What if we tried to find a positive for every negative? What if we slowly started to realize that the person isn’t as bad as we chose to believe? If that person is someone we don’t personally know, if they happen to be a public figure, then what we think about them has little affect on them. WE feel the consequences of those negative emotions. As the late comic Buddy Hackett so brilliantly stated, “While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.”

Next Blog

Guest blogger Lorie Sheffer: Karma

Winter falls upon the Orchard, confirming it is now time to rest

“What goes around comes around.”

“The circle of life.”

I sat by my father’s side, surrounded by several other midlifers sitting by their parent’s side in the large infusion room. Thankfully it was late afternoon and most, but not all, of our group was there for iron infusions to treat anemia. We were among the more fortunate who visit that room at the cancer center. And yet, the tension was palpable.

My dad was being monitored for an allergic reaction to his treatment, and my anxiety was mounting as I was trying to distract him with trivial banter, running options by him of where to stop for carryout on the way home. We’ve been through so much with him in the past three years that it’s hard not to get that familiar knot in the pit of our stomachs when things are even slightly out of kilter.

Suddenly I remembered the nights when I would come in past curfew. The time I dented Mom’s car. Having to bring home a less than stellar report card. Giving birth to my daughter a month after turning twenty years old. I remembered the look of worry in my dad’s eyes then, and wondered if he was now able to see that same look in my eyes.

Whoever coined the phrase, “Karma’s a real bitch” knew what they were talking about.

Next Blog

Guest blogger Lorie Sheffer: Forgiveness, step 11 – Identity shift

closeup photo of butterfly — Float (softly) like a butterfly (photo: Lorie Sheffer)

Become the person you wish to be.

We’ve probably all known or heard of a person who is harsh and maybe a bit intimidating or hard to enjoy. We’ll often hear a comment from someone close to that person, along the lines of, “Oh… but he has such a soft side!” or “She really can be sweet when she wants to be!” Notice how, when this person shows that soft side, their face and body language relaxes, they smile more and they seem generally happier.

Move toward your soft, loving inner self.

Next Blog

Guest Blogger Lorie Sheffer: Forgiveness step nine – Grief

Stonewood Park, Harry Schenck's Eagle Scout project — Stonewood Park, Harry Schenck’s Eagle Scout project he didn’t live to see

Step #9 on the path to forgiveness: Grief.

In moving toward forgiveness, we are not attempting to deny that we were hurt by the actions of ourselves or another person. We are learning to accept that we were caused pain, to grieve and work through that pain, and then to let it go so that so that we can move ahead unencumbered by it.

Next Blog

Stonewood Park was Harry Schenck’s vision for his Eagle Scout project. He died tragically in a car accicent at age 16, a high school junior. The backstory is here.

Lorie Sheffer guest blogger: Forgiveness step 5, practice

Stack of firewood — Photo: Lorie Sheffer

As French existentialist/philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre said, “Freedom is what we do with what has been done to us.”

The fifth step toward forgiveness is our understanding that, like with most things in life, it takes time, effort and practice. Learning to forgive is a process. We may take three steps forward and two steps back, but so long as we keep our eye on the destination, the day will come when we are free of the weight of our burden.

Next Blog