The smells, by guest blogger Lorie Sheffer

Memorial Day weekend
Memorial Day weekend (photo: Lorie Sheffer)

Memorial Day weekend means that summer is here. Technically it begins on June 20, but everyone knows that the official start to summer is Memorial Day weekend. Summer has smells all its own. Just as the scent of pine and freshly baked cookies says “Christmas” and pumpkin pie, burning leaves and apples say “Autumn”, summer has it’s own signature scents. What are some of your summertime favorites?

My list is long, and any one of these scents can transport me. Freshly mown lawn is a smell that makes my heart sing. Just a few weeks ago, I walked by a parking lot that had a fresh coat of tar, and I sat in my car with the windows down and inhaled that smell for a few wonderful minutes before I left for home. The faint smell of chlorine can instantly transport me back to summers at the community pool. (The same pool that hit jeff noel’s recent post about favorite summer memories! Good call, my friend. Good call.) Suntan lotion is a heavenly scent, especially the kind with that slight coconut aroma. Even though some folks grill food year round, there is nothing quite like the smell of a good, smoky barbeque. Not the gas grill type, but a good old charcoal grill smell. Throw in the smell of a few after dark fireworks and you have magic. I love the smell of fresh sliced tomatoes. None of those hot house or hydroponic types; I’m talking vine ripened heirloom tomatoes. If you grow your own you know the wonderful smell your hands pick up after touching the plants. Nothing can compare to taking a walk or a drive by a cornfield in summer. Cornfields have an amazing scent that is indescribable.

This weekend I will go through my usual rituals of watching Jaws for what must be the 100th time, putting all of my shoes away till Fall, washing and storing all of the winter blankets and going for the first swim of the season no matter the temperature of the water or of the air. But perhaps my favorite thing will be to mindfully breath in the scent of it all.

Fifty Shades, by Lorie Sheffer Guest blogger

Bookshelves and book reviews
Bookshelves and book reviews... (photo: Lorie Sheffer)

Every few years a book will reach cult status. It happened with The Bridges of Madison County and The Da Vinci Code, and now it’s happening with Fifty Shades of Grey. The fact that there are libraries in the South that are banning the book for being too racy is just adding to its allure.

I hated The Bridges of Madison County. I didn’t bother to read The Da Vinci Code. I had no plans to read Fifty Shades of Grey, but since I got a copy for my birthday I figured I’d read it and see what all the fuss was about. It didn’t take me long to realize that this is one horribly written book. It may be #1 on the New York Times Best Seller list, but Paris Hilton’s book also made that list, so really. I don’t particularly find the subject matter to be that offensive; what I find offensive is poor writing. Perhaps the fact that I got this for my FIFTY THIRD birthday is why I started to laugh when I discovered that the “incredibly sexy man” who is at the center of the story is the same age as my son, five years younger than my daughter. When I read a book, I have a habit of casting it like a movie. I want to visualize the characters. To me, Christian Grey is Justin Bieber, which makes the steamy parts of the book incredibly hilarious to me. I find the subtlety of Ken Watanabe’s “Chairman” Ken Iwamura in Memoirs of a Geisha to be much more “smoldering” without all the overt, graphic descriptions. Again, age.

Keeping my ear to the tracks, so to speak, I have been paying attention to the facebook buzz on this book from the younger crowd. It would seem that the gals under the age of about 35 just can’t say enough good things about Fifty Shades. I was almost resigned to thinking that it’s just me being the snarky old spoilsport. After all, I am the woman who lists Titanic as one of the worst movies of all time. Then I saw Kathleen Turner being interviewed on TV, and the subject of the book came up. Kathleen Turner, who burned up the screen in 1981 when she starred in Body Heat. Kathleen “Jessica Rabbit” Turner, who was named as one of the sexiest actresses of all time. Kathleen Turner, who said she finds this book to be ridiculous. Ms Turner is 57.

It’s not that women can’t be sexual as we get older. We just know what the young gals will have to find out for themselves; men get better with age. A man under the age of say, 40, just isn’t done yet. They are unbaked cookies; unripe fruit; grape juice vs wine. Sure, they may have a full head of hair and washboard abs, but they lack a certain something. Instead of being the sexy stiletto that kills our feet, older men are the soft, warm slippers that we can’t wait to get home to. Fifty Shades of Grey gave me some good laughs, which I’m sure was not the intent. To each her own, I say. I’d prefer to spend my time with lovely old classics. Cary Grant was FIFTY THREE years old when he starred in An Affair to Remember. That 1957 film has been named the most romantic movie of all time. Fifty three years old; the exact same age as me.

Freedom, by guest blogger Lorie Sheffer

Lorie Sheffer
Lorie Sheffer sans makeup (photo: Gary Sheffer)

Love her or hate her (I love her), she gave us this:

I feel so relieved to be at the stage I’m at in my life right now, Jill. Because you know if I want to wear my glasses I’m wearing my glasses. If I want to wear my hair back I’m pulling my hair back. You know at some point it’s just not something that deserves a lot of time and attention. And if others want to worry about it, I let them do the worrying for a change. It doesn’t drive me crazy anymore. It’s just not something I think is important anymore.” – Hillary Clinton

Ruminate, by guest blogger Lorie Sheffer

springtime snow
Ruminate... Photo: Lorie Sheffer

Over the next week, make a list of things you are worried about. At the end of the week put that list to the side and for the following month keep another list of which, if any, of those worries actually happened. Now compare the two lists.

How much time and energy did you waste on things that never even materialized? Of the things that DID happen, think about whether your ruminations had any impact on the eventual outcome.

If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.
– The Dalai Lama

Misery loves company, by guest blogger Lorie Sheffer

life's roadblocks
life's roadblocks and detours (photo: Lorie Sheffer, York, PA)

I can’t stand this weather. The grass is growing too fast and the weeds are out of control. I’d hire somebody to come and take care of the yard, but you just can’t get anyone to do a decent job these days, and they charge way too much anyway. I don’t go outside because my stupid neighbor is always out there grilling stuff, and between the smoke blowing onto my patio and the disgusting smell of whatever it is he’s grilling, it makes me sick to my stomach. I’d come in and watch TV, but there’s nothing on that’s worth watching.

How much of that kind of negativity can you listen to before you want to run screaming from whoever is ranting? It’s draining to be around negative people, and yet we all know at least one. I’m not talking about the occasional foul mood that can strike even the most cheerful among us, I’m talking about those people who can never seem to find much to be happy about or grateful for; the energy sponges in our lives.

The number one thing to remember is, the minute we start to complain about them, we have become one of them. Tempting as it may be for us to try to change them, it ain’t gonna happen. Allowing ourselves to be sucked into the drama will only fan the flames. We need to realize that we can’t “fix” people, especially those who do not think they are broken. The best way to react to these Debbie Downers is not to react at all. Most importantly we need to realize that anything rude or insensitive they may say to us or about us is not a reflection of us, but a reflection of their own inner misery. We can’t control the thoughts or the behavior of others; we can only control how we respond to them.