Lorie Sheffer guest blogger: Forgiveness – step three

Cat on back
Abby doesn’t know how to hold a grudge (photo: Lorie Sheffer)


Over the past two weeks I’ve explained the first two steps to forgiveness. Step three is to understand the personal benefits.  Think how much lighter you would feel if you let go of past pain and hurt. Put it down, walked away and refused to look back.

Allowing ourselves to forgive and move on makes us a much nicer person to be around, and so we may find the wonderful people in our lives choose to spend more time with us. If we’ve ever been around someone who talks about old hurts and wrongs and who makes negative comments about another person- no matter how justified- we know how tiring that becomes. It’s awkward, it’s unpleasant and it can even become rather boring. Even if not vocalized, pain and resentment pollutes the way we interact with our loved ones.

Imagine how much better we would all sleep at night if we didn’t drift off while playing those old tapes in our head; those tapes in which we either relive the wrong that was done to us or lie there plotting our fantasy revenge scenarios. Imagine, instead, falling asleep with thoughts that calm us and make us happy.

Forgiveness is a gift we give to OURSELF.

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By jeff noel

Retired Disney Institute Keynote Speaker and Prolific Blogger. Five daily, differently-themed personal blogs (about life's 5 big choices) on five interconnected sites.