Category: Guest Bloggers

I’ve always needed some sort of creative outlet, so holidays are my time to go for it.  Last year, I added decorated sugar cookie snowflakes to my repertoire of baked holiday treats. This year I upped the creativity factor by investing in a pastry bag and a self-education course on decorating via some very helpful Internet sites.  I have to admit that exhausting as it was, I totally enjoyed the two full day process and was pretty happy with the results. So happy, in fact, that I posted the above photo on my facebook page.

My brother’s comment? “Where are the chocolate chips?” Chocolate chip cookies are his favorite. Apparently, according to the comments on HIS comment, they are the favorite of many.

Lesson learned? Sometimes it’s the simple things. Sometimes we think that more effort we put into something, the more others will appreciate what we’ve done for them. We also need to think, are we doing what we’re doing for THEM or are we doing what we’re doing for OURSELVES? I will admit that although I baked these embellished cookies for everyone to enjoy, I mostly did it for me. I wanted the creative outlet and I wanted to learn a new skill. I think it’s fantastic to do something just for me sometimes.

Last night I whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The entire process took me about an hour and a half. They are now waiting in a container on my table, ready for me to drop off at my brother’s apartment later this afternoon.

Maybe the best way to honor the memory of those who can’t be with us this holiday season is to appreciate those who can be with us.

 

Tomorrow morning when you wake up, try not to use your dominant hand for the first hour. Just allow it to hang by your side. Make your morning coffee; brush your teeth and shower. Ladies, apply your makeup and blow dry and style your hair using your non-dominant hand only. Men, you may want to use an electric shaver for this. Now get dressed. Button your shirt and tie your shoes. Are you feeling frustrated even though you know at any time you still have the ability to use both hands? Imagine not having that option. Now, imagine doing this all day, every day, for the rest of your life.

This is just a hint of what it feels like for someone who has survived a stroke, traumatic brain injury, severe nerve damage or amputation. Want to kick it up a notch? Try doing this same exercise while standing on one foot. Now, imagine if someone was yelling at you to hurry up or was being impatient with you for not being fast enough.

I’ve lived for almost 16 years with this reality, and still, I find that I will sometimes forget what it must feel like. That’s when I spend an hour with my right arm hanging by my side.

It seems each family has at least one holiday tradition that others may find unusual.

The best story I heard was the one about a traditional Christmas Eve ham. My friend told me that every year, her grandmother would bake this special ham. When grandma got older the dinner preparations were taken over by Mom. When Mom got to be up in years, the daughters took over the honors. Always, ALWAYS, that ham was prepared by first cutting off each end by about an inch. One year, one of the daughters forgot this crucial step and placed the ham into the roasting pan, ends uncut. A hush fell over the kitchen. Mom, hoping to avert what was sure to be the ruination of the centerpiece of the Christmas Eve buffet, gently reminded her daughters that they must never forget to cut of the ends of the ham first. “Why?” one of the girls asked. Mom just stood there, not really knowing the answer. “It just tastes better if you cut off the ends before you bake it. Grandma always did that, and she always made the best ham.” This made no sense to the girls, but since it had been done that way since before they were born, this tradition of holiday ham preparation surely must have some logical explanation. Grandma was now well into her nineties, but still mentally sharp and sitting in the next room enjoying the appetizers. They decided to go ask her.

“Grandma, we have a question for you. Why did you always cut the ends from the ham before baking it? Does it stay more flavorful? Is it better for the glaze to get in there?”

She looked at them as if they had hit the eggnog a bit too hard.

“I cut the ends off so the ham would fit into my roaster.” Then she shook her head and started to laugh.

Holiday tradition. Sometimes we just continue them without ever asking “Why?”

 

I’ve never known anyone who loved Christmas the way my late friend did. She was my husband’s cousin, and they shared their childhoods through family gatherings and holidays. He speaks fondly of those days, but she spoke of them with reverence. They were, in her mind, nothing short of perfection. She remembered, in great detail, every food, cookie, candy, gift and song. She could recall which years they had snow and which years they did not. She would even talk about the wrapping paper and decorations.

Thinking back to my own childhood, I can’t remember any major holiday catastrophe. I spoke with my mother about this, and she filled me in on the time Dad began to paint the living room the night before she was set to have all twenty-five members of our family come to our home for Thanksgiving. They both laugh about it now. We reminisced about the time we got a “fresh” turkey that turned out to be anything but. We had beef that evening instead.  There were mix-ups over gifts; there were out and out bad gifts. There were ruined desserts. There was the time my grandmother set her freshly made peanut brittle out on a bench on her porch to cool, and when we went out to retrieve it we found my cat curled up on the warm pan, fast asleep, fur stuck to Gram’s handiwork.

The point is this: Holidays are not perfect. Nothing in life is. But if we focus on the good things, the happy memories, and learn to laugh at the calamities, maybe we can stop stressing and learn to have that same love of the holiday season that my friend had.