House decorations in Celebration, Florida October 25, 2012
One of the reasons Halloween is such a fun night for us is because it is the night we make fun of things that are frightening. We put a face on fear, much the same as we do when we see a horror movie or read a Stephen King novel. It’s controlled, contained and entertaining. We get much the same rush as when we ride a roller coaster or rides like The Tower of Terror.
As someone who’s battled an anxiety disorder since childhood, I have to admit I’m not a fan of the thrill rides. I do, however, enjoy a good movie like Silence of the Lambs and I am a huge fan of Mr. King’s works. I suppose it’s a way to control fear and anxiety.
Maybe we shouldn’t wait until October 31st to meet our fears head on, look them in the eye and laugh in their face.
Midlife crisis or celebration? At one time, this place was brand new. And now…
How is Boy Scout summer camp like a Mid Life Celebration? In many cases, we only do it once. Went to one nearby Scouting summer camp in 1972 as a 13-year old. Loved it. But never went back.
We get one, real, full-blown midlife crisis. And hopefully, we never go back.
Vulnerability, trust, and non-verbal communication (photo: Lorie Sheffer)
When a cat lies in it’s back and exposes its soft underbelly that is a sign of trust. The cat is in a position of vulnerability by an attacker. In order for it to expose that part of itself it must feel totally safe and not threatened by its surroundings.
I recently read a study that concluded we humans are losing our ability to interpret social cues and body language. We are becoming increasingly distracted by technology, communicating via social media such as Twitter and Facebook. In doing so, we are literally rewiring our brains.
When my husband had a massive stroke in 1996, he was left with severe expressive and receptive aphasia. What that means is, he was unable to understand language or speak coherently. He lost his reading comprehension as well. During his recovery time, we had to rely on other means of communication. The same holds true to those who have small children, and sometimes it holds true if we have elderly parents. They are unable to effectively communicate verbally, so we need to be more in tune with those other signals.
Most of us can tell if someone has a strained look on their face that they’ve had a bad day. Raised shoulders mean they are carrying stress. A slumped, deflated posture can be a sign of defeat or fatigue. Fast speech or rapid hand movements signal excitement or unease.
How sad if, in our race to Tweet real-time or immediately race to post photos, we lose the subtle art of wordless conversation.
Ben Franklin atop Philadelphia City Hall (left), One Liberty Place (right) (Photo: Lorie Sheffer)
How do we define success? Not many of us would argue that the wealthiest among us have achieved financial success. The term “successful business man” has been around much longer than the name Donald Trump, “successful actor” longer than the name Tom Hanks. Oprah Winfey is, by all accounts, one of the most successful women in America.
What about the single mother who works two jobs and is raising well-mannered, respectful children? What about the urban teenager who, contrary to stereotype, somehow manages to avoid trouble, graduate from high school and land a job as a custodian? Is the mechanic who works long hours to provide for his or her family a success? What about the person who beats addiction? Are the men who, in spite of all kinds of nasty weather, collect our trash from the curb considered successful? Is the father who has to rely on food stamps to help feed his family a success because his children have food in their bellies? How about that 300-pound woman who finally manages to walk around the block? The agoraphobic who steps outside of their home and walks to the mailbox?
Are we considered a success only if we win, or are we successful if we have the guts to at least try?
Last week I was chatting with the gal who was mixing my paint at the home improvement store. She said that she’s noticed something rather interesting. It seems that the younger customers tend to buy more neutral colors, while middle aged and older customers buy bolder colors. We wondered if that is because the younger folks are thinking of selling their homes and the older ones are settled. Or is it because when we hit middle age we stop caring what others think and start to do what WE like, especially in our own homes?Last week I was chatting with the gal who was mixing my paint at the home improvement store. She said that she’s noticed something rather interesting. It seems that the younger customers tend to buy more neutral colors, while middle aged and older customers buy bolder colors. We wondered if that is because the younger folks are thinking of selling their homes and the older ones are settled. Or is it because when we hit middle age we stop caring what others think and start to do what WE like, especially in our own homes?
Last summer my husband and I finally demolished our “charmingly retro” (outdated, ugly, Partridge Family/Brady Bunch) kitchen. As I was flipping through the paint color fan, looking for something that complimented the tile and granite, I fell in love with “Chinchilla”, which is purple. Not a screaming Grape Ape purple, but purple nonetheless. Our young kitchen designer loved what she called my “bold choice”. She seemed happily surprised that I chose something so unconventional. I’m not sure I would have done so even 10 years ago. But now? Who else am I trying to please in my own home but me? After last week’s paint department chat, I’m happy to say I’m not alone.
