Tag: Guest Bloggers

 

Children learn from adults. They learn by example. Their sense of what is normal and what is acceptable comes from their environment. I’ve always felt that children have the right to question the rules and question authority, so long as they do so in a respectful way. They should also understand that questioning a rule doesn’t necessarily change that rule.

Debate clubs and teams are a wonderful way for older kids to learn the art of respectful disagreement. In fact, most school debate teams will have the student make a case for both sides of an issue, in an effort for them to understand the opposition.

Riding with my grandson, we passed a car covered in bumper stickers. Most of them were political in nature. The only words I can put in this post without it turning from G or PG rated to R rated would be “idiot” and “stupid”. My grandson is soon going to be 13 years old. He read the stickers and laughed. Then he commented about how, when someone really has no facts to back up their hatred or displeasure, they will resort to name-calling. It’s pretty much a standard playground tactic used during elementary school recesses. I see the same tactics used in Facebook posts and during what are supposed to be adult discussions. Imagine going for a job interview and being told, “Get out, you’re stupid.” End of story. Not, “I’m sorry, but for these reasons we don’t feel you are qualified for this job.”  That’s the difference between treating someone with respect or not. We don’t have to agree with someone, like someone or even respect someone to treat him or her respectfully.

Our children are watching us. They are listening to us. They are observing how we treat others. Not just those with whom we agree, but those with whom we disagree. If they treat people with whom they disagree in a disrespectful way, if they call them names, if they become bullies, perhaps the reason can be found if we take a look in the mirror.

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It’s happened again. A fallen hero is in the news.  Olympic “Blade Runner”, Oscar Pristorius stands accused of shooting and killing his girlfriend, lawyer/model Reeva Steenkamp. People are shocked; they are in a state of disbelief.

I live in South Central Pennsylvania, where Penn State football is almost the regional religion. Last year, the support for Joe Paterno began with the force of a wildfire and it continues to this day. People “KNEW Joe Pa”. Granted, they had never actually met or had any type of personal contact with the late coach, but they “KNEW and LOVED” the man. What did he know? I don’t know, because he was a stranger to me.

Lance Armstrong was a national hero for years, all the while lying about doping and actually threatening legal action against his accusers. John Edwards was by all accounts a decent family man. He also just happened to have fathered a child with his mistress while his now deceased wife was undergoing cancer treatments.

We all feel like we KNOW these famous athletes, actors, singers, religious leaders and politicians. We step to their defense if stand accused of a crime or a dramatic slip, ignoring any and all evidence that leans toward their guilt.

And yet……… How many times have we been shocked by something a close friend has done? How many people do we know whose marriage has fallen victim to betrayal? If people who we actually do know, actually do interact with, can sometimes do something we find totally out of character, then why do we feel as if we intimately KNOW what a total stranger will or will not do or be capable of?

Maybe we long for someone who is beyond reproach.  Maybe we are projecting what we wish these mortals were, instead of understanding that they are human beings with human failings; human beings with sometimes superhuman talents and abilities, but humans all the same. Sometimes they aren’t very heroic at all. Maybe instead of trying to create a hero in a total stranger, we should strive to BE more of what we are searching for.

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When Jeff Noel and Lorie Gotwalt first became acquainted on the playground of Thomasville Elementary, the year was 1965 and she was 54 years old. One year older than Jeff and I are today.

The year she was born, King George V – the father of King George VI, who was portrayed in The King’s Speech- ruled England.

Penicillin was not to be discovered for another 17 years, or be used to treat bacterial infections for almost 30 years.

The first Indianapolis 500 was held with the winning car reaching an average speed of 74.56 MPH.

Her life spanned airmail through email.

The median household income was $520.00 a year. Milk sold for  $.17 a gallon and a new car cost about $750.00. This was also the time Louis Chevrolet opened his car company and the first public elevator went into use in London, England. Crisco shortening was being introduced to home cooks, and the US Navy acquired its first airplane.

California became the 6^th state out in the US to grant women the right to vote, with hopes that the rest of the 40 states would soon follow.

She was born when William Taft was President, and she lived through the Administrations of Woodrow Wilson, Warren Harding, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W.Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama.

She lived through two World Wars, a Cold War, a Forgotten War, the Vietnam War, Gulf War and War on Terror. She experienced The Great Depression, several recessions, saw people march for civil rights, and tuned in to the TV coverage of the assassinations of JFK, RFK, and MLK, Jr. She read of and listened to her radio, for updates on the attacks on Pearl Harbor and watched TV to see in real time as the terror of September 11th unfolded.

She was able to recall a time when people dressed like the characters on Downton Abbey, and also remember what a man wore to walk on the moon.

In her life, she married and had two daughters and several grandchildren and great grandchildren. She loved animals, and always had pets in the house. She was a wonderful cook and had an amazing sense of humor. If not for the fact that she had passed the century mark with her mind still intact and her wit as sharp as ever, she would have passed through this world as just another ordinary housewife and mother.

She will be laid to rest today. For the first time in 102 years, the world will go on without her.

Have you ever read your label?  Deserved or not, we all have a label. If a survey were taken of twenty people who know us, what would they say if asked to use one word to describe us? We’d likely see a few different ones, and perhaps even some conflicting ones. But most likely, we’d see the same word used several times.

What’s your label? Be it a positive or negative word, do you deserve it?  What can you do to keep it, or to change it? If it truly is not a word that fits, why do people have that impression of you?