Guest Bloggers – Page 23 – Disney Leadership Keynote Speaker

Bah humbug, by Lorie Sheffer guest blogger

The season of giving and generosity is upon us. The familiar red kettles, bells being rung by their sides, will be filled with loose change, dollar bills and the occasional anonymous, newsworthy contribution. Holiday trees adorn many department stores, decorated with wish list tags for families or children whose address may not be on Santa’s route. Lions Clubs, Cub Scouts, schools and churches deliver holiday food boxes to families and individuals who otherwise may not have much of a feast. We will watch classic movies, cringing at the stinginess of Ebenezer Scrooge and cheering the daffy generosity of Clark Griswold. We will see made for TV specials featuring down on their luck single moms and struggling elderly folks, all in need of a bit of Christmas magic and love from a benevolent stranger.

It makes us feel good to give during the holidays. We want to donate and we want to think that perhaps we had a hand in making Christmas a little more special for someone in need. And yet, those same exact folks we are so happy to assist on Thanksgiving and Christmas may be going to bed hungry once our trees are untrimmed and our decorations are put away for the season. They may not have heat in their homes, medical care or warm clothing. Why do we transform them, in our minds, from strangers worthy of our Christmas spirit into dregs unworthy of our compassion? Why, in our minds, do we magically morph the working poor, the elderly, and the indigent, into drug-addicted thugs who just want something for nothing? Perhaps our conscience is more comfortable turning it’s back to that image than it is to the holiday image.

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” Charles Dickins

Sick with fear, by Lorie Sheffer, Guest blogger

Today my husband and I were driving south on I-83, from York, Pa to Baltimore, Md. Just as we were nearing the city limits, a flat bed tractor-trailer came speeding off of an entrance ramp, cutting across two lanes of traffic and almost running us into the median. Interestingly I remained calm but my husband was out of breath from the near hit. I took the opportunity to use it as a learning experience for him.

“Right now, how do you feel physically?” He recited the usual list: Racing heart, fast breathing, sweaty palms, knot in stomach. We’ve all been there for one reason or another.

“OK. Now imagine that feeling magnified about ten times, coming out of the blue, for no apparent reason. Imagine waking up feeling that way and not knowing why. That is what it feels like to have an anxiety disorder.”

Then I told him about an extremely interesting article I recently read, which not only makes sense for those of us who are managing anxiety, but for anyone under stress. So really, that means all of us.

The gist of it was this: fear and anxiety are usually compulsive liars. Think of all the things we worry about unnecessarily, or the fact that our worry has no control over the eventual outcome. We worry about the weather, we worry if our children will get into the college they want, we worry about having time to clean our house, about traffic. If we really pay attention, we find that we worry, at least on some level, quite a bit. Yet, we listen to it. We give it our full attention. Fear and worry can often make us act and react in ways we wouldn’t if we were thinking rationally. If a person in our life is a compulsive liar, do we give them final say on how we feel? Do we consult them and ask for their advice?

If we are ever in a position to be face to face with a tiger, trust me, that anxiety will still kick in and send us into lifesaving fight or flight mode, no matter how many years we have spent ignoring its warnings. Better that in every day life, in those situations where worry is causing us to feel bad for no reason, we call it out for the liar it is and ignore it.

Perspective, by Lorie Sheffer midlife Guest blogger

flooding — perspective (photo: Lorie Sheffer, York, PA)

Last September, my street and basement flooded, along with most of the Northeastern United States. The flood happened on the same day that my father was admitted to the hospital with a serious infection. I remember curling up on the bed in defeat, feeling like a victim. And then I remembered Katrina. Suddenly I felt more like a spoiled child. I got out of bed, put on some old jeans and shoes and headed down to the basement where my husband was busy with a shop vac and buckets. By the end of the day the basement was wet but the standing water was gone. The following week my father was sitting in his living room watching his favorite TV shows and life was pretty much back to normal.

Monday, I listened to someone on the phone telling me how terrible life is, and how the puddles of water Sandy left in their basement were just rancid icing on a terrible cake.

“Do you have your TV on? Because you still have power….. so is the TV on?” I asked.

“Yes, it’s on. You can’t even watch anything except video of the hurricane.”

“So you’re telling me that you can sit there and complain about how terrible life is for you, with that playing in the background? Your power hasn’t gone out, you just ate lunch, you have heat in your home, all of your big trees are standing and you only have a small amount of water in part of your basement.”

“Well there’s always SOMEONE who has it worse”, she huffed.

Exactly.

Happy Halloween, by Lorie Sheffer Guest blogger

Halloween decorations — House decorations in Celebration, Florida October 25, 2012

One of the reasons Halloween is such a fun night for us is because it is the night we make fun of things that are frightening. We put a face on fear, much the same as we do when we see a horror movie or read a Stephen King novel. It’s controlled, contained and entertaining. We get much the same rush as when we ride a roller coaster or rides like The Tower of Terror.

As someone who’s battled an anxiety disorder since childhood, I have to admit I’m not a fan of the thrill rides. I do, however, enjoy a good movie like Silence of the Lambs and I am a huge fan of Mr. King’s works. I suppose it’s a way to control fear and anxiety.

Maybe we shouldn’t wait until October 31^st to meet our fears head on, look them in the eye and laugh in their face.

Awareness? by Lorie Sheffer, Guest blogger

Breast cancer awareness — Awareness is tricky… (photo: Lorie Sheffer)

Such a wonderful thing we’re doing; so kind of us to offer our support. To symbolize our awareness, to show we care.

Most survivors, or those who are working to become survivors, are touched by this show of solidarity. Surely everyone who has been affected on a personal level must be thrilled by our efforts. They must get some kind of strength from this sea of pink.

Surely they must.

I listened as someone who survived told me how the sea of pink makes them feel. They hate it. They want to forget the trauma of surgery, chemo and more surgery. They can’t forget. They have scars and nightmares as reminders. In an effort to think of something else, anything else, sometimes they get lost in a sporting event or a movie. Sometimes they seek solace in a silly TV sitcom. But the reminders are there. The teams are wearing pink; everyone is wearing pink clothing, pink ribbons, pink bracelets. There seems to be nowhere to go where they can, however briefly, forget their illness. People think they are being kind. The intentions are good. But they never bother to ask, “Do you want to talk about it?” “ How does this make you feel?”

Sometimes we assume we know.