Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, by Lorie Sheffer, Guest blogger

2012 road repair
2012 road and bridge repair in York, PA (photo: Lorie Sheffer)

Before you can fix a problem, you have to recognize it and acknowledge it.

Sounds pretty simple, and yet sometimes our perception of normal can be distorted. Other times, we may know that we need to change but refuse because we want to be in control, not realizing that our control lies in our ability to adapt and change.

One day in physical therapy, my husband’s therapist asked him to close his eyes and stand up straight, equally balancing his weight on both feet. Because of the lack of sensation due to his stroke, his perception of normal was skewed. He closed his eyes, got into position and confirmed that he felt balanced. When he opened his eyes and looked into the full-length mirror that had been rolled in front of him, his eyes grew wide. He looked like a human Leaning Tower of Pisa. How could he have fixed it when he couldn’t feel it? He hadn’t realized there was a problem.

I have heard one partner in a difficult marriage say they are not the one who needs to change. They are not going to couples counseling, because it is their partner who needs to be told to make changes. They will just continue on as usual and wait for the other person to change. The thing is, even if their spouse is the one who needs the most work, how they react to the behavior of others can not only decrease their stress, but also go a surprisingly long way in helping solve the problem.

In the words of G.K. Chesterton, “It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It’s that they can’t see the problem.”

So what?

leaving a legacy
a sense of urgency…who’s he gonna talk to if something tragic happens to me?

Suppose someone’s a prolific blogger – writing thousands of blog posts. So what?

One could bet it keeps them sharp, razor sharp. And it probably keeps them balanced, as good as anyone in the world. It helps them to be clear, crystal clear, on what’s important in life. And most of all, it proves they have drive and determination (and most likely a servant’s heart).

PS. note to self… that was awkward, but kudos for doing it anyway.

Next Blog

Is it worth it?

prolific bloggers
museum exhibit…a note pad…really?

Had a mini-epiphany the other day on the phone, while sharing my story (which may be featured in a book on purposeful aging). The whole notion of being the Internet’s Only Five-A-Day Blogger. What is that exactly? Is it a good thing? What does it mean? How or why does it matter in a sea of bloggers? What if it doesn’t.

What advice would you offer on this, tested by your personal experience and not textbook theory?

Next Blog

These are the toughest economic times we’ll ever see

intuition
you know which way true north is...follow your gut

Note to self: As challenging as it is to keep up with a growing son, a growing business, and an ever-increasing travel schedule, you have done an admirable job in managing the keeping-up part and the getting-ahead part. Cut yourself some slack.

PS. And remember to judge no one. Not everyone was born with your level of intuition. And you were not born with the intellect of many others. God sort of balances the species out.

Next Blog