Mid Life Celebration

As Basic As It Will Ever Get

The most basic of life’s questions, “Do you have a choice?”

We all have dreams, as grand as ending hunger, or getting a GED.

Or as simple as paying off our mortgage, retiring and watching our grandchildren grow up.

To make these grand or simple dreams come true, we must fight the good fight.

Every day.

And every day we are faced with the choice.

Keep going, or quit.

Never get bored with the basics, even in midlife.

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Dear Mid Life Celebration readers and followers, THANK YOU for spending your precious time reading this blog. You have over 80,000,000 other blogs you can choose from.

Rejoice In Simple Things

Do great work today. And remember, great is a relative term.

If simply getting through your day is an accomplishment for you, congratulations. Never give up.

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Why Is He Happy?

Midlife, what’s to celebrate, by Blogger Lorie Sheffer:

Midlife Celebration. Sometimes we wonder what there is to feel celebratory about. Life can seem so hectic we find it hard to find the time to sit for a few minutes and enjoy some quiet time. We may wait for a reason to go out for dinner or take that day off. We wait for a real reason to celebrate. We wait for an occasion.

If you woke up today and were able to sit up in bed, swing your feet to the floor and walk across the room, you have a reason to celebrate. If you didn’t need help showering, brushing your teeth or using the toilet, you have a reason to celebrate. If you could reach down and pick up the morning paper from your doorstep, look at the sky and then go inside to brew yourself a pot of coffee, you have a reason to celebrate. If you could smell your breakfast and feed yourself, if you were able to chew and swallow, you have a reason to celebrate. If you can breathe without a ventilator, you have a reason to celebrate.

Sometimes we take for granted those little things we do every day, so easily and without a thought, until we are no longer able to do them.

I am on week six of spending an average of six hours a day, at least five days a week, with people who can’t do some of those things we take for granted. Sometimes I feel tired and stressed. When I leave for the day, I walk through those hospital doors into the sun or the rain. I look at the gorgeous crepe myrtle that is planted around the perimeter of the parking garage, and then I see the coneflowers and ornamental grasses and small trees that fill the landscaped areas. I breathe in the summer air. I hear birds and cars and people talking. I hear and see life outside. I think of the people in the hospital behind me. My thighs may be larger than I would like, my rear end wider, but I am walking. I am leaving. I get in my car and I drive away, putting more and more miles between me and Them. I drive into the real world, a world where people are pissed off because they can’t find a parking place that is close to the entrance. People who think it a hardship to have to run to their car in the rain. I now see those things as a privilege. When I walk in to my house and see the sink full of dirty dishes that I left I actually feel blessed to be able to stand at the sink and wash them.

Take time today to celebrate. If you had a boring, uneventful day, then you have a reason to celebrate. If you had to mow your lawn, clean your house, wash your car, or do laundry, and you did so without assistance, you have a reason to celebrate. You have a reason to feel filled with joy and to feel blessed. You have reason to thank God for the glorious day, and you have reason to celebrate.

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Ok, So It's Not Red

There’s a midlife stereotype of the middle-aged man getting a red, convertible  sports car and a younger woman.

Mid Life Celebration isn’t traveling that path.

Mid Life Celebration is for those that experience this – you spend your life pursuing your big, important goals, only to reach them.

And the first thing that comes to mind?

“This isn’t what I wanted!”

“Now what do I do?”

Sometimes, Life's A...

Not sure I have to tell you it’s Sunday, and every Sunday, Central Pennsylvania’s Lorie Sheffer is our featured Guest Blogger. Take it away Lorie:

Last Friday was one of those days that was just so bad I sort of got the idea that I may be on Candid Camera. I spent the day visiting my Dad in the ICU. On the way home I saw a woman in a car hit a man on a motorcycle. When I got home my six-year-old fantail fish was dead, and then while I sat on my deck to relax my right eye turned bright red and swelled shut for no apparent reason. I told myself that things could have been worse, and that tomorrow would hopefully be better.

Saturday morning there was a public auction being held next door, and it was distracting and sort of fun. My doorbell rang around 10 AM, and I answered it wearing my leopard print pajamas, a horrific case of bed head and a still slightly wonky eye. A lady who was about the same age as my mother was standing on my doorstep. Shaking and near tears, she told me that she had just run over my mailbox. I laughed. I told her about the lady who hit the man on the motorcycle the day before, and said that the mailbox was just a thing that could be repaired or replaced. She offered to give me her name and pay for the damages, but my husband and I told her to just go to the auction and have a good time. It was then that she told us her circumstances. She never put a dent in her car in her life, but her husband was admitted to the ICU over five weeks before, and she had decided that maybe a beautiful summer day at an auction would take her mind off of her situation for a few hours. Her nerves were shot and she just wasn’t functioning normally. Her husband was in a room just across the hall from my dad.

The economy isn’t great and we get to see millions of gallons of oil pumping out into the Gulf every day, with no end in sight. We have troops in dangerous places. With all the big deals going on, it would be easy to feel pushed over the edge by the small stuff. But maybe this is the perfect time when we need to recognize those minor irritations exactly for what they are: no big deal. In the grand scheme of things, who cares? Perhaps we need to think before we lash out. Sure, that guy who cuts you off in traffic may be a giant jerk. But maybe you would feel a bit less anger if you heard his story. I remember a day last winter when a man screamed at me at the top of his lungs in line at the grocery store. My crime? I was in the “12 items or less only” line. I apologized to him, telling him that I very honestly didn’t see the sign, and that my mind wasn’t focused because I had just come from being with my seriously ill brother. He continued to scream at me, and I stood there in full view of the now very attentive crowd and started to sob. His tirade continued while I was loading my groceries into my trunk. Now that I think about it, I worry for him. I wonder what his issues were. People who handle stress by acting out in anger over what amounts to nothing must certainly be putting themselves at risk for heart attacks, strokes and God knows what else.

We all have those candid camera days. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, when someone does something that irritates us, we would react with some compassion? Even if their life is going incredibly well and they are just an obnoxious jerk, I’m sure they will be taken aback by the more Zen reaction. Added bonus? We didn’t allow them to cause us more stress. I wonder what would have happened had the man, who was so enraged by my grocery store faux pas, pulled into traffic in anger and a motorcycle had been in his path?

A Porch With A View

What’s your favorite thing to do at the beach?

And if you’ve never been to a beach, but hope to some day, what would you like to do?

Life's A Beach, Eh?

Everybody's Looking For Answers

Why did this Vulture cross the road?

Same reason we all do.

Over & Over (in the name of progress)

Did you catch the blinding flash of the obvious yesterday?

Repetition.

That’s the silver bullet.

A few simple things in life.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Let The "Adventure" Begin

Have you ever found yourself thrilled by some small, seemingly insignificant event or moment?  And you can’t quite put your finger on it.

Or, do you grind through each day, having a dull, aching feeling that you could be doing so much more?

Right there with you, on both accounts.

This is going to be an interesting summer, and it starts today. Who’s planning for an amazing Summer? Happy Summer Solstice.

The Sun Will Eventually Set On Your Life

Most of us are fearful. It’s an endowment our Creator bestowed on us to survive – fight or flight.

But in this case it means fearful, as in “way too fearful“!

Once, midlife was described to me like this, “When a man realizes he’s not going to live forever.”

There’s a simple solution to this.

Any of you have the guts to share?

You ain’t gonna live forever. Are you afraid of being wrong?

Examining A Disney World Parade

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Now why would anyone say such a thing?

Who said it?

Socrates.

What does it matter who said it, really?

Really? What matters is between you and your peace of mind.

Mid Life – a great opportunity to rethink, reprioritize and recommit.

But this will require some serious examination.

Ahhh,  so now I get it, the unexamined life is not worth living.

He's Really A Trusted Partner

I’m honored to be included in Jeff’s blog, and I’d like to get your help with something.

Most of us arrived at adulthood with the idea that we were in charge of our own lives, and that as adults, we could do things our own way.  We operate with this thought in mind until reality comes along and reminds us that we can’t defy the laws on nature.  It’s during these “midlife moments” that we wake up and realize that we’re not as invincible as we once thought we were, and that we can’t afford to put off the things that are really important.

Here an example of what I’m talking about.  I’ve always been very proud of my youthful appearance.  I inherited it from my two very youthful parents.  Although both of my parents are in their seventies, they are both still very active and look much younger than their years.

For a long time, I thought of this as my genetic curse.  When I was in college, people thought I still looked like a kid, and they treated me accordingly.   In the early stages of my career, I felt like I wasn’t taken seriously because I didn’t look experienced enough.  Later, however, I came to see this youthful appearance as a blessing.  I went to a 20-year class reunion and was struck by how much everyone in my class had aged.  It sounds conceited, but I left that reunion saying to myself, “Damn, I look good!”

But the good times can’t last forever.  One thing I had become accustomed to was being carded.  I don’t buy alcohol very often, but when I do, I was used to having the clerk say, “Can I see some ID?”  So I’ll never forget that moment when I was buying a bottle of wine to take to a party…and the clerk forgot to ask to see my driver’s license.  I thought to myself, “This girl is really off her game, of course I need to be carded.”  So I opened my wallet and said, “Don’t you want to see my ID?”

She smiled at me weakly, and said, “Uh…sure.”  And at that moment, it hit me:  I guess I don’t look 21 anymore.  She might as well have said, “Oh yeah, of course I want to see your ID…old man!”  Because in that moment, that’s how it felt to me.

Even though the moment was a blow to my ego, I still think I look damn good for my age.  I just don’t expect to get carded anymore.  And that’s okay by me.

What are some of your most memorable examples of “mid-life moments?”  I’d like to hear from you!  Please send your favorite midlife moments to Jeff as a comment or email and we’ll share the most intriguing ones here on Mid Life Celebration.  Want some thought-starters?  Here are a few:

*The day you went from being addressed as “Miss” to “Ma’am”
*The day someone commented on how “distinguished” you look
*The day you realized you couldn’t read the fine print anymore

Looking forward to hearing from you!

What Will You See When You Look Back?

Every day it’s the same.  Isn’t it?  It goes like this:

• No Passion
• No Drive
• No Worthy Goals
• No Desire
• No Patience
• No Resolve

So there you have it, the antidote.

It’s yours for the taking.

But you don’t.

Have I not done enough to make you angry motivate you to begin to Rethink, Reprioritize, and Recommit?

What else do you want from me?

You’ve got to be willing to kick your own butt.

Are you listening?

You’ve got to!!

Yeah, They're A Bunch Of Vultures

There is an antidote to yesterday’s troublesome questions.

Know what it is?

Anything You'd Like To Say?

Ever have those routine conversations that take you to a cool place? A thought-provoking place that raises questions that aren’t often raised?

Not talking about alcohol or drug stimulated thought-provoking questions, but straight-forward, no bull, full-on, hard-core life questions.

Things like:

Am I no longer king of the hill?

Why is everything turning gray, everywhere?

Why am I so out of shape?

Do others still find me attractive?

Do I still have “it”?

Why am I no longer king of intellectual capital?

Is there any hope to turn my life around?

Mid Lifers, do you ever feel like this? Any advice to others? You’re welcome to be part of the conversation. No expectation, but plenty of opportunity.